How Essential Oils Ruined Our Lives (our 2.5 year update)

I've been meaning to write this post for awhile. Just kind of toying with the idea of an update on a series that I wrote TWO YEARS ago. It's kind of crazy because in the fast pace of the internet, does anything have a two year life span? Pretty much....no.

I am a researcher at heart. If you are into personality typing, I'm an ISTJ, a green, an emerald, a melancholic earth type. I'm *very* data and fact oriented, and most things have to be proven to me. There are definitely downsides to a personality like mine, but it has been extremely helpful in learning to be the best advocate I can be for my kids. I've had to advocate for them since day one:

-- The doctors told us to "selectively reduce" one or two of our quadruplets. We said no.
-- They were born at 27 weeks, 6 days and immediately put on ventilators and into incubators where we couldn't hold them for days.
-- One had heart surgery and has autism.
-- One had an infection in the hospital that they didn't catch for days, and major eating issues which required a scope, dye test, and hospital stay, along with lots of occupational therapy focused on texture issues.
-- One embodied the "wimpy white boy" name that nurses give NICU babies who are struggling, and still manages to end up needing stitches or glue at least once a year.
-- One had the wrong breast milk given to her in the NICU (from another pumping mom) which meant a 6 month scare while we waited to find out if HIV would pass through the milk to her. We also were faced with the possibility of cerebral palsy (see second section of the linked post).
-- Then reaching Pre-K meant a fight for services under the Individuals with Disabilities Act, and a safe place to learn.

Those are just the highlights. There have been many more opportunities to practice my skills since then. All that to say, I know advocacy. I learned it in the school of hard knocks while trying to do the best by my kids in a situation that we really didn't see coming (If you were wondering, nobody tries for quadruplets.). I've read every policies and procedures manual handed to me, read governmental paperwork, websites, and legalese regarding my kids' rights, read so many stats about survival rates, special needs rates, long-term success rates, and cried tears of frustration over how hard it can be to simply parent and raise kids in this world.

Can I get an "amen" from the collective parents?

So 2.5 years ago, in all of my researching, I started looking into essential oils. At the time, we had exhausted every wellness strategy we knew of, trying to keep our medically fragile kids happy. I thought the oil thing was most likely a scam. BUT, it was the only thing we hadn't tried yet, and I figured that if I didn't, I really didn't have a leg to stand on by telling other people that they didn't work.

Call it fate, providence, serendipity....whatever. (We like to give the credit to God *smile* )

Unfortunately, I haven't written an update on any of that since then. Shame on me. So here's your update on what we've learned and experienced...and then I'll tell you how essential oils ended up ruining our lives:

-- We've learned that staying well is 100 times easier than getting sick and trying to pull ourselves back out of that pit. This whole journey has made us very aware of how our choices affect our health. I've learned that there is amazing freedom in being able to be proactive about wellness instead of reactive to sickness. I'd much rather be on the proactive side and just maintain being healthy. It's easier on everyone, plus no one loses time from school or work.

-- We've taken tons of toxic products out of our house and switched them for safe products that help keep the body running optimally. My mom had 6 kids. My grandma had 7 kids....I dealt with infertility. Genetically, I should have been able to pop out babies without too much trouble, but for some reason, that wasn't the case. Could it have been the HUGE increase in toxins in our products over the years? Toxins my mom and grandma weren't dealing with when they were young? I have no idea (and since I can't prove it, I won't claim it), but this is what I do know. I do know that toxins can cause major reproductive issues along with a whole slew of other issues. I also know that I have two little girls. And I know that I want grand babies. Obviously, there are other reasons to get rid of toxins, but I don't want my girls to call me one day and tell me that they can't get pregnant. That's a gut wrenching pain that I don't want them to experience.  I do know that our respiratory issues have majorly decreased since we removed toxins and fragrances from our home. Fragrance is the new second hand smoke. Having my house smell like "Sangria on the Beach" is not worth it.

Abby, Elijah, and Mommy

-- I've learned that there are good essential oils and sub-par essential oils. Although the series ended, my research did not. I've bought more oils from other companies since then, poured through more essential oil company websites, and *still* not found anything that comes close to Young Living's Seed to Seal Standard. As a side note, I still get emails from people asking me my thoughts on different essential oil companies. Here is all you have to do. Go to seedtoseal.com. Read through that. Then go compare it to whatever company you are looking at. The difference is stark.

-- We've learned that weight loss may be a side effect. Sean and I have both lost weight. We still have a ways to go, but it's nice having a natural option to help us get there!

The Quad Parents - Sean and Rebecca

-- We've learned that essential oils do amazing things for emotional health. What is that saying? "Too blessed to be stressed." HA!!! Yeah, right! I'm super blessed, but I'm also super stressed, and I have my occasional moments of feeling blue or anxious on top of that. Essential oils have been awesome for the moods in our household.

-- We've learned that essential oils are key in getting our son with autism to focus and concentrate more during school and therapies. This has been life-changing for us. It's actually what sold Sean on oils in the first place. That's how big the difference is between oiled Caleb and non-oiled Caleb.

Caleb

-- I've learned that essential oil trolls can be worse than quadruplet trolls. I am so not even kidding about this one. We have been in some local news articles, magazines, and a few short clips on the news due to the curiosity about our family. The trolls on those articles can be brutal. Everybody loves a keyboard warrior who leaves anonymous comments as the expert on rearing quadruplets. (Just kidding. Don't do that.) Apparently, using essential oils and writing a 5 part series on your findings also brings that out of people. MY STARS. I've even had friends participate. It's kind of unbelievable to me how judgmental people are across the board. Be kind, friends. I'm not just talking about on my blog or Facebook wall. Be kind in LIFE. Because you don't know what another person has gone through. So maybe this point should better read, "I've learned more fully the importance of being kind, listening with respect, and not judging other moms for doing their best." Also...if you are a troll and you are reading this, every single comment on my blog is on a delay. I put that in place way back when my kids were babies. Go plague reddit or something.

-- We've learned that we can save so much money. We used to take at least one kid to the pediatrician every other week. We went so often, that I actually asked for a frequent visitor punch card. You know....pay 9 copays, get the 10th free. Sadly, they didn't go for that (ha!). Man, those copays added up!! We now go for well kid visits once a year (check-ups...so important!). In the 2.5 years since we started using essential oils, we have had probably 5 visits TOTAL for other than well kid visits. Not 5 visits per kid. That's total for all of them. That is IN.SANE given what we've been though. Being proactive about maintaining their wellness has been a huge focus for us, and it has paid off!

Ellie, Abby, Elijah, and Caleb - Enjoying a strawberry smoothie split 4 ways!

-- We've learned that when big pharma and the insurance companies refuse to help, that we still have options. I need to just write a whole other blog post on this, but one of the reasons why I was so quiet here on the blog last year was because I was diagnosed with a disease called Primary Immunodeficiency that had me in an IV clinic every 3 weeks for antibody infusions in order to stay out of the hospital. That was a lifelong diagnosis and treatment plan....until our insurance decided they didn't want to pay for it anymore. I guess the $500,000 a year price tag made their eyes bulge. They decided that I wasn't worth it (Literally. That's what happened) and sent me out on my own to let come what may. AHH!! So. many. tears. when that treatment plan was taken away from me, but what was I to do? I started working hard core on trying to stay well, and have been extremely healthy this year! I haven't been in the hospital AND....(get this!!) I haven't even been to the doctor other than my chiropractor. BOOM! Not to say that I won't ever have issues in the future. Unfortunately, this is something I'm going to have to be aware of for life, but I will take awesome health when I can get it!

-- I've learned that certain entities don't want our stories of wellness, success, and abundant living out there. I'm sad to say that most websites have been wiped clean of the amazing testimonies, recipes, and documentation that used to be readily available on the internet. I now have to use reference books (which hey! I love reading!), deep googling, sites like THIS and THIS, and talking to friends with personal experience to find stories and answers. If you are as data minded as I am, take a look at pubmed.gov. It's a government site and you can find real studies done using essential oils. If you aren't as data minded....don't go there. It will make your eyes cross. *wink*

Daddy, Elijah, and Caleb - The boys wanted to help Daddy put oils on his back

-- I've learned that "healthy" does not actually equal "well." Interesting, right? For example, you can have a perfectly "healthy" athlete with major emotional problems. He may be healthy, but he isn't well. Or you can have a college student who never gets sick, but eats processed food everyday and drinks every weekend. She may look healthy, but she isn't well. (Not knocking any food choices. Just pointing out a fact). I've learned that wellness is a full body thing: emotional, physical, spiritual....and I've also learned that I have a long ways to go before I get there. Baby steps!

It's not an earth shattering update, but one well worth writing. Many of you have followed our journey since I was pregnant. Anybody remember the REALLY old first website that we had? You've cared about our kids, prayed that they would survive, prayed that *we* would survive (lol!), and hit our highs and lows with us. This. This is one of our highs. A life-changing high.

So how did essential oils ruin our lives then? Well....they ruined what our lives consisted of BACK THEN. Our status quo....the version of life that we were trying to fight out an existence in.....has been irrevocably ruined. We can't go back to that version of life again....but truly, we don't want to. While that type of reality has been ruined, it has been replaced with a much more vibrant version of life than we could have hoped for.

What tied into this that I didn't see coming at all was the opportunity that we would have to pour this research back out to other people. What started with "I think these are a scam" has now turned into a full-time job for me. Besides raising quadruplets, I now teach other people how to have success and live their best lives using essential oils and non-toxic products as their springboards. It's pretty much the most amazing job ever! I love working with moms who are stressed (yep, I'm looking at you!) and helping them see that their families have options when it comes to their wellness. I teach people to buck the status quo and find a better way with a higher quality of life. Because life is meant to be so much more than working a job every day and collapsing into bed each night. It's meant to be vibrant, full of life and vitality with abundance and purpose woven through the threads of every day. I believe that this is why God put me on earth. To pass that hope onto others (well that, and to pop out babies four at a time). It's a beautiful thing to live out a calling.

Us at the Young Living St. Marie's Farm in Idaho - August 2016

So that's the update to the initial post 2.5 years ago when I was wondering if oils were a scam. If you haven't read my series, you are welcome to jump back now and do so. The 5 part series links to each other so that you can follow along. It may be old in internet land, but it's still very current. If you haven't tried Young Living Essential Oils, then call them a scam like I did and try them anyway. If you haven't tried them, then you don't know if they work. I'm just sayin'. If you have a friend who has offered them to you and you think they will help you learn how to use them effectively, then talk to them about getting started. If you don't have a friend to help you, then jump over to this post, grab some oils over there, and then email me so that I can help you. Either way, just *try* them.

And yeah....our kids are totally oily now and love it!

• First Post: Essential Oils: Do they really work or is it all just hype?
• Second Post: Essential Oils: The German, British, and French Schools of Thought
• Third Post: Essential Oils: To Ingest or Not to Ingest? (and how I ended up picking my method)
• Fourth Post: Essential Oils: Which Essential Oil Company is Best? (and reviews of five popular companies!)
• Fifth Post: Essential Oils: How I Saved Money by Switching To Young Living Essential Oils
• To Sum It All Up: The Oily Options and Free Stuff

This post may contain affiliate links. For more info, please see my disclaimer page.

I've been meaning to write this post for awhile. Just kind of toying with the idea of an update on a series that I wrote TWO YEARS ago. It's kind of crazy because in the fast pace of the internet, does anything have a two year life span? Pretty much....no.

I am a researcher at heart. If you are into personality typing, I'm an ISTJ, a green, an emerald, a melancholic earth type. I'm *very* data and fact oriented, and most things have to be proven to me. There are definitely downsides to a personality like mine, but it has been extremely helpful in learning to be the best advocate I can be for my kids. I've had to advocate for them since day one:

-- The doctors told us to "selectively reduce" one or two of our quadruplets. We said no.
-- They were born at 27 weeks, 6 days and immediately put on ventilators and into incubators where we couldn't hold them for days.
-- One had heart surgery and has autism.
-- One had an infection in the hospital that they didn't catch for days, and major eating issues which required a scope, dye test, and hospital stay, along with lots of occupational therapy focused on texture issues.
-- One embodied the "wimpy white boy" name that nurses give NICU babies who are struggling, and still manages to end up needing stitches or glue at least once a year.
-- One had the wrong breast milk given to her in the NICU (from another pumping mom) which meant a 6 month scare while we waited to find out if HIV would pass through the milk to her. We also were faced with the possibility of cerebral palsy (see second section of the linked post).
-- Then reaching Pre-K meant a fight for services under the Individuals with Disabilities Act, and a safe place to learn.

Those are just the highlights. There have been many more opportunities to practice my skills since then. All that to say, I know advocacy. I learned it in the school of hard knocks while trying to do the best by my kids in a situation that we really didn't see coming (If you were wondering, nobody tries for quadruplets.). I've read every policies and procedures manual handed to me, read governmental paperwork, websites, and legalese regarding my kids' rights, read so many stats about survival rates, special needs rates, long-term success rates, and cried tears of frustration over how hard it can be to simply parent and raise kids in this world.

Can I get an "amen" from the collective parents?

So 2.5 years ago, in all of my researching, I started looking into essential oils. At the time, we had exhausted every wellness strategy we knew of, trying to keep our medically fragile kids happy. I thought the oil thing was most likely a scam. BUT, it was the only thing we hadn't tried yet, and I figured that if I didn't, I really didn't have a leg to stand on by telling other people that they didn't work.

Call it fate, providence, serendipity....whatever. (We like to give the credit to God *smile* )

Unfortunately, I haven't written an update on any of that since then. Shame on me. So here's your update on what we've learned and experienced...and then I'll tell you how essential oils ended up ruining our lives:

-- We've learned that staying well is 100 times easier than getting sick and trying to pull ourselves back out of that pit. This whole journey has made us very aware of how our choices affect our health. I've learned that there is amazing freedom in being able to be proactive about wellness instead of reactive to sickness. I'd much rather be on the proactive side and just maintain being healthy. It's easier on everyone, plus no one loses time from school or work.

-- We've taken tons of toxic products out of our house and switched them for safe products that help keep the body running optimally. My mom had 6 kids. My grandma had 7 kids....I dealt with infertility. Genetically, I should have been able to pop out babies without too much trouble, but for some reason, that wasn't the case. Could it have been the HUGE increase in toxins in our products over the years? Toxins my mom and grandma weren't dealing with when they were young? I have no idea (and since I can't prove it, I won't claim it), but this is what I do know. I do know that toxins can cause major reproductive issues along with a whole slew of other issues. I also know that I have two little girls. And I know that I want grand babies. Obviously, there are other reasons to get rid of toxins, but I don't want my girls to call me one day and tell me that they can't get pregnant. That's a gut wrenching pain that I don't want them to experience.  I do know that our respiratory issues have majorly decreased since we removed toxins and fragrances from our home. Fragrance is the new second hand smoke. Having my house smell like "Sangria on the Beach" is not worth it.

Abby, Elijah, and Mommy

-- I've learned that there are good essential oils and sub-par essential oils. Although the series ended, my research did not. I've bought more oils from other companies since then, poured through more essential oil company websites, and *still* not found anything that comes close to Young Living's Seed to Seal Standard. As a side note, I still get emails from people asking me my thoughts on different essential oil companies. Here is all you have to do. Go to seedtoseal.com. Read through that. Then go compare it to whatever company you are looking at. The difference is stark.

-- We've learned that weight loss may be a side effect. Sean and I have both lost weight. We still have a ways to go, but it's nice having a natural option to help us get there!

The Quad Parents - Sean and Rebecca

-- We've learned that essential oils do amazing things for emotional health. What is that saying? "Too blessed to be stressed." HA!!! Yeah, right! I'm super blessed, but I'm also super stressed, and I have my occasional moments of feeling blue or anxious on top of that. Essential oils have been awesome for the moods in our household.

-- We've learned that essential oils are key in getting our son with autism to focus and concentrate more during school and therapies. This has been life-changing for us. It's actually what sold Sean on oils in the first place. That's how big the difference is between oiled Caleb and non-oiled Caleb.

Caleb

-- I've learned that essential oil trolls can be worse than quadruplet trolls. I am so not even kidding about this one. We have been in some local news articles, magazines, and a few short clips on the news due to the curiosity about our family. The trolls on those articles can be brutal. Everybody loves a keyboard warrior who leaves anonymous comments as the expert on rearing quadruplets. (Just kidding. Don't do that.) Apparently, using essential oils and writing a 5 part series on your findings also brings that out of people. MY STARS. I've even had friends participate. It's kind of unbelievable to me how judgmental people are across the board. Be kind, friends. I'm not just talking about on my blog or Facebook wall. Be kind in LIFE. Because you don't know what another person has gone through. So maybe this point should better read, "I've learned more fully the importance of being kind, listening with respect, and not judging other moms for doing their best." Also...if you are a troll and you are reading this, every single comment on my blog is on a delay. I put that in place way back when my kids were babies. Go plague reddit or something.

-- We've learned that we can save so much money. We used to take at least one kid to the pediatrician every other week. We went so often, that I actually asked for a frequent visitor punch card. You know....pay 9 copays, get the 10th free. Sadly, they didn't go for that (ha!). Man, those copays added up!! We now go for well kid visits once a year (check-ups...so important!). In the 2.5 years since we started using essential oils, we have had probably 5 visits TOTAL for other than well kid visits. Not 5 visits per kid. That's total for all of them. That is IN.SANE given what we've been though. Being proactive about maintaining their wellness has been a huge focus for us, and it has paid off!

Ellie, Abby, Elijah, and Caleb - Enjoying a strawberry smoothie split 4 ways!

-- We've learned that when big pharma and the insurance companies refuse to help, that we still have options. I need to just write a whole other blog post on this, but one of the reasons why I was so quiet here on the blog last year was because I was diagnosed with a disease called Primary Immunodeficiency that had me in an IV clinic every 3 weeks for antibody infusions in order to stay out of the hospital. That was a lifelong diagnosis and treatment plan....until our insurance decided they didn't want to pay for it anymore. I guess the $500,000 a year price tag made their eyes bulge. They decided that I wasn't worth it (Literally. That's what happened) and sent me out on my own to let come what may. AHH!! So. many. tears. when that treatment plan was taken away from me, but what was I to do? I started working hard core on trying to stay well, and have been extremely healthy this year! I haven't been in the hospital AND....(get this!!) I haven't even been to the doctor other than my chiropractor. BOOM! Not to say that I won't ever have issues in the future. Unfortunately, this is something I'm going to have to be aware of for life, but I will take awesome health when I can get it!

-- I've learned that certain entities don't want our stories of wellness, success, and abundant living out there. I'm sad to say that most websites have been wiped clean of the amazing testimonies, recipes, and documentation that used to be readily available on the internet. I now have to use reference books (which hey! I love reading!), deep googling, sites like THIS and THIS, and talking to friends with personal experience to find stories and answers. If you are as data minded as I am, take a look at pubmed.gov. It's a government site and you can find real studies done using essential oils. If you aren't as data minded....don't go there. It will make your eyes cross. *wink*

Daddy, Elijah, and Caleb - The boys wanted to help Daddy put oils on his back

-- I've learned that "healthy" does not actually equal "well." Interesting, right? For example, you can have a perfectly "healthy" athlete with major emotional problems. He may be healthy, but he isn't well. Or you can have a college student who never gets sick, but eats processed food everyday and drinks every weekend. She may look healthy, but she isn't well. (Not knocking any food choices. Just pointing out a fact). I've learned that wellness is a full body thing: emotional, physical, spiritual....and I've also learned that I have a long ways to go before I get there. Baby steps!

It's not an earth shattering update, but one well worth writing. Many of you have followed our journey since I was pregnant. Anybody remember the REALLY old first website that we had? You've cared about our kids, prayed that they would survive, prayed that *we* would survive (lol!), and hit our highs and lows with us. This. This is one of our highs. A life-changing high.

So how did essential oils ruin our lives then? Well....they ruined what our lives consisted of BACK THEN. Our status quo....the version of life that we were trying to fight out an existence in.....has been irrevocably ruined. We can't go back to that version of life again....but truly, we don't want to. While that type of reality has been ruined, it has been replaced with a much more vibrant version of life than we could have hoped for.

What tied into this that I didn't see coming at all was the opportunity that we would have to pour this research back out to other people. What started with "I think these are a scam" has now turned into a full-time job for me. Besides raising quadruplets, I now teach other people how to have success and live their best lives using essential oils and non-toxic products as their springboards. It's pretty much the most amazing job ever! I love working with moms who are stressed (yep, I'm looking at you!) and helping them see that their families have options when it comes to their wellness. I teach people to buck the status quo and find a better way with a higher quality of life. Because life is meant to be so much more than working a job every day and collapsing into bed each night. It's meant to be vibrant, full of life and vitality with abundance and purpose woven through the threads of every day. I believe that this is why God put me on earth. To pass that hope onto others (well that, and to pop out babies four at a time). It's a beautiful thing to live out a calling.

Us at the Young Living St. Marie's Farm in Idaho - August 2016

So that's the update to the initial post 2.5 years ago when I was wondering if oils were a scam. If you haven't read my series, you are welcome to jump back now and do so. The 5 part series links to each other so that you can follow along. It may be old in internet land, but it's still very current. If you haven't tried Young Living Essential Oils, then call them a scam like I did and try them anyway. If you haven't tried them, then you don't know if they work. I'm just sayin'. If you have a friend who has offered them to you and you think they will help you learn how to use them effectively, then talk to them about getting started. If you don't have a friend to help you, then jump over to this post, grab some oils over there, and then email me so that I can help you. Either way, just *try* them.

And yeah....our kids are totally oily now and love it!

• First Post: Essential Oils: Do they really work or is it all just hype?
• Second Post: Essential Oils: The German, British, and French Schools of Thought
• Third Post: Essential Oils: To Ingest or Not to Ingest? (and how I ended up picking my method)
• Fourth Post: Essential Oils: Which Essential Oil Company is Best? (and reviews of five popular companies!)
• Fifth Post: Essential Oils: How I Saved Money by Switching To Young Living Essential Oils
• To Sum It All Up: The Oily Options and Free Stuff

This post may contain affiliate links. For more info, please see my disclaimer page.

NICU Reunion 2014

We very happily made it to our NICU reunion again this year! I always wonder if we will be sick since that's what kept us away from the kids' first one, but everyone was well this year, so we went to go visit some of the people who helped us fight for our kids' lives. It's always an emotional afternoon, seeing those who invested so deeply in our kids, and watching the nurses and doctors' faces light up as they see four healthy, happy kids in place of the fragile preemies they remember.

Sean, Caleb, Elijah, Abby, Amy, and Ellie

The first person we saw when we walked in was Amy. Amy was the nurse who helped us prepare to go home with our babies. We had a very long meeting one evening (that Sean and I tried to stay awake through) on how to prepare our home for the arrival of preemie quadruplets. We were *so* exhausted already, that we couldn't imagine actually bringing them through the front door. But Amy was so sweet and helpful as we got ready to make the transition.

Abby, Ellie, and Elijah

After seeing Amy, we headed over to the coloring table. Three of our kids thought that was a great idea, but Caleb was being a pickle (which is why it looks like we only have triplets in the above photo). Caleb doesn't do well in new places that are loud and have a lot of people, so we kind of expected that. Unfortunately, it meant that we had to leave the coloring table before the other kids had fully finished their creations. Good thing we have a LOT of crayons at home!

And then we got to visit with this couple: 

This is Dr. Florendo (the woman) and Dr. Gibbs (the man). Dr. Gibbs was one of the perinatologists (high-risk OB-GYN) that followed and took care of me during my pregnancy. He was also the doctor who walked in mid-haircut in my hospital room. My hairstylist had driven up so that I didn't miss my appointment while on bedrest. That's a pretty hilarious memory!

Dr. Florendo was our babies' neonatologist while they were in the NICU. She was absolutely phenomenal, and we loved running into her the week prior at the Farmer's Market.

But I think the very best part of this story is that Dr. Florendo and Dr. Gibbs are married! The NICU had to majorly prep to handle four infants coming in at the same time. They would get a report on my condition every day that I was on bedrest so that they would be ready. We didn't find out until after our kids were born that Dr. Gibbs and Dr. Florendo made sure to compare notes so that both my medical team and our kids' medical teams would be fully prepared. I love that so much!

On our very last day in the NICU, Dr. Florendo called down one floor to the perinatologist office and let her husband know that we were leaving. He came up just to say goodbye to us. We were able to thank both of them for working together to send us home with healthy babies.

It was awesome to see them together again and show them that all of their hard work paid off!

Ellie, Sean, Abby, Caleb, Stephanie, and Elijah

We also got to see one of our night nurses, Stephanie! We always slept really well when we knew that Stephanie had our kids overnight. She knew our kids so well, and truly loved having them as patients. There have been several times over the past 3.5 years that she has come over just to visit and see how big they have gotten. We love Stephanie and seeing her is always a highlight of our NICU reunions!

And then it was cookie time!!

Clockwise from left: Abby, Elijah, and Ellie, and Caleb

Yes, Caleb was having a rough day. In his defense though, our reunion was scheduled during nap time. Yikes!

Abby, Elijah, and Ellie

And then it was time to take four very tired children home...

Sean and Caleb

...but we still made time to stop by the photo booth on our way out!

We made it about 30 minutes this year, which is a definite improvement over last year! Here's hoping next year is even better!

We very happily made it to our NICU reunion again this year! I always wonder if we will be sick since that's what kept us away from the kids' first one, but everyone was well this year, so we went to go visit some of the people who helped us fight for our kids' lives. It's always an emotional afternoon, seeing those who invested so deeply in our kids, and watching the nurses and doctors' faces light up as they see four healthy, happy kids in place of the fragile preemies they remember.

Sean, Caleb, Elijah, Abby, Amy, and Ellie

The first person we saw when we walked in was Amy. Amy was the nurse who helped us prepare to go home with our babies. We had a very long meeting one evening (that Sean and I tried to stay awake through) on how to prepare our home for the arrival of preemie quadruplets. We were *so* exhausted already, that we couldn't imagine actually bringing them through the front door. But Amy was so sweet and helpful as we got ready to make the transition.

Abby, Ellie, and Elijah

After seeing Amy, we headed over to the coloring table. Three of our kids thought that was a great idea, but Caleb was being a pickle (which is why it looks like we only have triplets in the above photo). Caleb doesn't do well in new places that are loud and have a lot of people, so we kind of expected that. Unfortunately, it meant that we had to leave the coloring table before the other kids had fully finished their creations. Good thing we have a LOT of crayons at home!

And then we got to visit with this couple: 

This is Dr. Florendo (the woman) and Dr. Gibbs (the man). Dr. Gibbs was one of the perinatologists (high-risk OB-GYN) that followed and took care of me during my pregnancy. He was also the doctor who walked in mid-haircut in my hospital room. My hairstylist had driven up so that I didn't miss my appointment while on bedrest. That's a pretty hilarious memory!

Dr. Florendo was our babies' neonatologist while they were in the NICU. She was absolutely phenomenal, and we loved running into her the week prior at the Farmer's Market.

But I think the very best part of this story is that Dr. Florendo and Dr. Gibbs are married! The NICU had to majorly prep to handle four infants coming in at the same time. They would get a report on my condition every day that I was on bedrest so that they would be ready. We didn't find out until after our kids were born that Dr. Gibbs and Dr. Florendo made sure to compare notes so that both my medical team and our kids' medical teams would be fully prepared. I love that so much!

On our very last day in the NICU, Dr. Florendo called down one floor to the perinatologist office and let her husband know that we were leaving. He came up just to say goodbye to us. We were able to thank both of them for working together to send us home with healthy babies.

It was awesome to see them together again and show them that all of their hard work paid off!

Ellie, Sean, Abby, Caleb, Stephanie, and Elijah

We also got to see one of our night nurses, Stephanie! We always slept really well when we knew that Stephanie had our kids overnight. She knew our kids so well, and truly loved having them as patients. There have been several times over the past 3.5 years that she has come over just to visit and see how big they have gotten. We love Stephanie and seeing her is always a highlight of our NICU reunions!

And then it was cookie time!!

Clockwise from left: Abby, Elijah, and Ellie, and Caleb

Yes, Caleb was having a rough day. In his defense though, our reunion was scheduled during nap time. Yikes!

Abby, Elijah, and Ellie

And then it was time to take four very tired children home...

Sean and Caleb

...but we still made time to stop by the photo booth on our way out!

We made it about 30 minutes this year, which is a definite improvement over last year! Here's hoping next year is even better!

{2014 Summer Bucket List} Visit the River Market

We've already started in on our Summer Bucket List for 2014! And our first activity ended up being...a doozy.

On Saturday morning, we woke up and did a nice little combo of yard work while stopping periodically to play with the kids. We gave the kids' new baseball bats from the grocery store a whirl with Daddy pitching, and Mommy as the assistant batter. They seemed to have a lot of fun with that!

And then I got the idea that we should all head downtown to the River Market (a giant Farmer's Market). Sean warned me that 10:30am on a Saturday would probably not be the best time to go, but I was pretty sure that we could find parking.

Well, I was wrong.

We drove all the way down there, and they were packed out. So packed out that there were no parking spots for a two block radius around the market.

So sad! I love the River Market! Their produce is insanely cheap, they have a bulk spice vender that I wanted to visit, and several ethnic markets with delicious food.

But wishing wasn't going to make the crowds dissipate, so we turned the car around to head home.

I hate loading the kids in the car, telling them we are going on an adventure, and then having to disappoint them. So halfway home, we decided to try the Overland Park Farmer's Market instead.

Happily, we easily found a parking spot, but by that point, the boys weren't interested in adventures anymore. We had a couple of very whiny butts on our hands. In fact, they were so tired and overwhelmed by the people and noise that we lasted...oh, about 10 minutes total there.

BUT, our short little visit was totally worth it when a lady walked up to Sean and asked if we were in line at a particular booth:

Adults: Sean, Dr. Katherine Florendo, Rebecca

Kids: Caleb, Elijah, Abby, and Ellie

It wasn't just any lady! It was our kids' doctor from our NICU days. She didn't recognize Sean and the boys at first (understandably as they are a lot older now), but when I turned around with the girls, she suddenly realized that she was looking at the Ishum Quadruplets!

Of course, our boys threw a royal fit when we tried for a photo at the Farmer's Market, but we can't win every time, right?

It was such a treat to see her, especially since it was in a non-medical situation. Doctors are so good about maintaining composure even when they are delivering bad news like Dr. Florendo had to give to us several times. But because she wasn't in doctor mode, and we caught her so off guard, so started crying as she dropped everything on the ground to free her arms for hugs (okay, I started tearing up too). I think we often forget that our medical professionals are people too and they invest not just their expertise but also their hearts in long-term situations like ours. We could tell how much it meant to her to see our kids not just surviving, but thriving!

The last photo we took with Dr. Florendo was when the quads were 5 months old, so it had been a long time!

Clockwise from lower left: Ellie, Elijah, Caleb, and Abby

Once we grabbed our photos, we headed back to the car. The boys were literally throwing themselves on the ground (so embarrassing!) and there was no saving our visit.

And then, you'd think we would have learned, but we stopped by the Organic and Natural Farmer's Market on the way home. Six booths. That's it. Such a tiny Farmer's Market that we thought surely the boys could handle walking around for five minutes.

Not so much. In fact, one of them threw themselves into one of the booths, causing quite the scene. Yay for parenting.

All that to say, our adventures to three Farmer's Markets ended up being a total and complete bomb. BUT, Sean and I both agreed that seeing Dr. Florendo made the morning worthwhile!

And the next time we try to go to the Farmer's Market, we are leaving A LOT earlier in the morning.

We've already started in on our Summer Bucket List for 2014! And our first activity ended up being...a doozy.

On Saturday morning, we woke up and did a nice little combo of yard work while stopping periodically to play with the kids. We gave the kids' new baseball bats from the grocery store a whirl with Daddy pitching, and Mommy as the assistant batter. They seemed to have a lot of fun with that!

And then I got the idea that we should all head downtown to the River Market (a giant Farmer's Market). Sean warned me that 10:30am on a Saturday would probably not be the best time to go, but I was pretty sure that we could find parking.

Well, I was wrong.

We drove all the way down there, and they were packed out. So packed out that there were no parking spots for a two block radius around the market.

So sad! I love the River Market! Their produce is insanely cheap, they have a bulk spice vender that I wanted to visit, and several ethnic markets with delicious food.

But wishing wasn't going to make the crowds dissipate, so we turned the car around to head home.

I hate loading the kids in the car, telling them we are going on an adventure, and then having to disappoint them. So halfway home, we decided to try the Overland Park Farmer's Market instead.

Happily, we easily found a parking spot, but by that point, the boys weren't interested in adventures anymore. We had a couple of very whiny butts on our hands. In fact, they were so tired and overwhelmed by the people and noise that we lasted...oh, about 10 minutes total there.

BUT, our short little visit was totally worth it when a lady walked up to Sean and asked if we were in line at a particular booth:

Adults: Sean, Dr. Katherine Florendo, Rebecca

Kids: Caleb, Elijah, Abby, and Ellie

It wasn't just any lady! It was our kids' doctor from our NICU days. She didn't recognize Sean and the boys at first (understandably as they are a lot older now), but when I turned around with the girls, she suddenly realized that she was looking at the Ishum Quadruplets!

Of course, our boys threw a royal fit when we tried for a photo at the Farmer's Market, but we can't win every time, right?

It was such a treat to see her, especially since it was in a non-medical situation. Doctors are so good about maintaining composure even when they are delivering bad news like Dr. Florendo had to give to us several times. But because she wasn't in doctor mode, and we caught her so off guard, so started crying as she dropped everything on the ground to free her arms for hugs (okay, I started tearing up too). I think we often forget that our medical professionals are people too and they invest not just their expertise but also their hearts in long-term situations like ours. We could tell how much it meant to her to see our kids not just surviving, but thriving!

The last photo we took with Dr. Florendo was when the quads were 5 months old, so it had been a long time!

Clockwise from lower left: Ellie, Elijah, Caleb, and Abby

Once we grabbed our photos, we headed back to the car. The boys were literally throwing themselves on the ground (so embarrassing!) and there was no saving our visit.

And then, you'd think we would have learned, but we stopped by the Organic and Natural Farmer's Market on the way home. Six booths. That's it. Such a tiny Farmer's Market that we thought surely the boys could handle walking around for five minutes.

Not so much. In fact, one of them threw themselves into one of the booths, causing quite the scene. Yay for parenting.

All that to say, our adventures to three Farmer's Markets ended up being a total and complete bomb. BUT, Sean and I both agreed that seeing Dr. Florendo made the morning worthwhile!

And the next time we try to go to the Farmer's Market, we are leaving A LOT earlier in the morning.

NICU Reunion 2013

Every year, the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at our hospital holds a giant reunion for all of their NICU graduates! 

You know it's a NICU reunion when the first thing you see upon walking in is lots and lots of hand sanitizer!

We didn't get to go last year since the kids were sick. We didn't think that the other NICU parents would appreciate us exposing their low-immunity kids to ours. But this year everybody was well, so we loaded up and headed back to our home away from home.

Ellie, Mommy, Abby, Caleb, Daddy, and Elijah 

They had a lot of fun activities for the kids including face painting, crafts, basketball toss, and photo booth. We are still on the young side for most of those, but we did take advantage of the photo booth! The kids {mostly} cooperated with the photos.

We saw several of our friends from the NICU, which was wonderful! Abby showed one of our night nurses, Stephanie, our photo after it was printed. It was so fun to see our healthy, happy kids interacting with the nurses who saved their lives so many times!

 This photo makes me laugh! At one point, Caleb decided that he'd seen everything there was to see, climbed back in his wagon with a cookie and kicked back.

We love our nurses, doctors, and all of their support staff who took such good care of our kids! Unless we have sick kiddos again in the future, we plan on heading to our reunion every year. The nurses told us back when we were still in the NICU that the reunion is the highlight of their year. Their whole job is working with babies who are barely holding on to life. Once they improve, the kids leave and they don't see them again. the NICU reunion and seeing all of their babies walking back into the room is where they get the encouragement to keep going in their chosen profession. They have such an intense and often tragic job. We are so grateful for them!

The kids with one of our day nurses, Tess, and one of our night nurses, Stephanie!

Every year, the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at our hospital holds a giant reunion for all of their NICU graduates! 

You know it's a NICU reunion when the first thing you see upon walking in is lots and lots of hand sanitizer!

We didn't get to go last year since the kids were sick. We didn't think that the other NICU parents would appreciate us exposing their low-immunity kids to ours. But this year everybody was well, so we loaded up and headed back to our home away from home.

Ellie, Mommy, Abby, Caleb, Daddy, and Elijah 

They had a lot of fun activities for the kids including face painting, crafts, basketball toss, and photo booth. We are still on the young side for most of those, but we did take advantage of the photo booth! The kids {mostly} cooperated with the photos.

We saw several of our friends from the NICU, which was wonderful! Abby showed one of our night nurses, Stephanie, our photo after it was printed. It was so fun to see our healthy, happy kids interacting with the nurses who saved their lives so many times!

 This photo makes me laugh! At one point, Caleb decided that he'd seen everything there was to see, climbed back in his wagon with a cookie and kicked back.

We love our nurses, doctors, and all of their support staff who took such good care of our kids! Unless we have sick kiddos again in the future, we plan on heading to our reunion every year. The nurses told us back when we were still in the NICU that the reunion is the highlight of their year. Their whole job is working with babies who are barely holding on to life. Once they improve, the kids leave and they don't see them again. the NICU reunion and seeing all of their babies walking back into the room is where they get the encouragement to keep going in their chosen profession. They have such an intense and often tragic job. We are so grateful for them!

The kids with one of our day nurses, Tess, and one of our night nurses, Stephanie!

How to Be a Friend to Someone With a High-Risk Pregnancy

Chances are you know someone who has or is currently going through a high-risk pregnancy. Pregnancies get classified as high-risk for a multitude of reasons, including, multiples, history of miscarriages, genetic issues, and mother's health. Our pregnancy was classified as high-risk due to me carrying quadruplets.

I learned very quickly that all of the social screens that people normally have go straight out the window in a situation like mine. In their defense, I wouldn't have known what to say to me either. Where do you even start when you have a friend who is dealing with a pregnancy so high-risk, that there is a very real possibility she could lose her baby or babies? It's hard to know what to say, so I hope I can shed some light on what us high-risk mommies like to hear...and what we'd prefer you keep to yourself.

Avoid Extremes.
Just in case you get distracted before you finish reading this post, let's start with the most important one.

There are two sides to this: The first is that some people feel like they need to tell the mommy-to-be that everything is going to turn out fine and great. While that is extremely positive, it's not necessarily true. She knows it. You know it. We all know it. Remaining positive about advances in medicine and being available to help is awesome, but there is no need to harp on the rainbows and sunshine which may not be heading her direction.

The other side is that some people try to offer death support while the baby is still living. Bless their hearts. *sigh* Y'all, I can't express to you enough how unhelpful this is in a high-risk situation. While a comment like this often comes from the best of intentions, it is like taking a knife and running it through the mommy's heart. From personal experience, I can vouch that any mommy in a high-risk pregnancy knows that there is a chance her baby won't make it. One of the first things a doctor does is sit down with the parents of the child and give them all of the statistics of why the baby WON'T make it. That's par for the course. And if the baby passes, then those same doctors will direct the mommy to some resources to get her started. At that point, then it is okay to gently pass on your own resources. But not before then. Please don't be misguided into thinking that it's helpful to offer them before something tragic happens.

No Extra Touching.
What is it about pregnant women and the need for the world to touch them? It's kind of funny really...unless you are the one being touched. On top of that, I've found that having a high-risk pregnancy makes you even more high-risk for unsolicited touching. Do you have a mommy friend who is going through a tough pregnancy? Please don't touch her stomach. Or face. Or hair. Or rub her back. Or any of that, unless you know her well enough to know her preferences. When I was pregnant, I was okay with foot rubs, but would go all ninja on a person if they tried to touch my face. Why? Because I didn't want to catch germs, get sick, and put my high-risk pregnancy at more...erm...high risk. Even if you personally loved being touched while carrying a child, it is much more polite to give the mother-to-be some space. And if you are absolutely dying to give her a back rub, just ask first!

Don't Bring Up the High Risk Situation Every Single Time
So your friend just found out that her pregnancy isn't going to be the perfect one represented in movies. She definitely needs your support, but not necessarily your verbal support every time you see her. The best way I have to describe a high-risk pregnancy is like walking around with a time bomb in your stomach. The doctors have given you the statistics, you know what you are supposed to do, and you also know that even if you do everything right, it still might not go your way. Things can change in an instant, and life will never be the same again. She is always aware of what she is carrying even if she has a smile plastered on her face.

A good friend helps a mom going through a high-risk pregnancy forget what is looming over her, even if it's just for 30 minutes. She will still know you care if you don't dwell on the pregnancy every single time you see her.

Treat the Mommy like a normal person.
This can as easily be true for all mommies regardless of how scary or routine their pregnancy is. Just because a friend gets pregnant does not mean that she is no longer herself. She still has the same likes and dislikes (unless we are talking about food...in which case, I can't help you.) Treat her like a normal person.

My favorite story from my pregnancy happened during one of our doctor's visits. I was probably about 10 weeks pregnant with quadruplets, and my husband asked the high-risk doctor for a handicap parking sticker for the car. When the doctor asked why, my husband responded that I was pregnant with quadruplets. The doctor, who obviously knew the situation, looked at me, looked back at my husband, and then said, "But she isn't disabled. She's just pregnant."

But You REALLY Want to Help
There is a fine line between helping and overwhelming. Odds are that your friend won't want to directly ask you for help (that's a whole other blog post right there!). The easiest way to start helping is to offer to do something specifically. Saying, "Do you need help with anything?" is extremely vague and they won't know if you really mean it. Saying, "Can I pick up your laundry, wash it, and return it this week?" or "Can I bring you a hot meal on Monday?" is much more effective. You are letting them know that you've already thought about it and are very willing to do that particular task. It takes some of the stress off of the mom when she knows that you asked to mop her floor!

Prayers not Pity.
There is a big difference between pity and sympathy. Pity is when you just feel bad for someone. It's the idea, "Oh, I can't believe that happened to her." Sympathy is when you understand another person's feelings on a deep level and strive to stand with them through what they are dealing with. It's when your heart breaks as their heart breaks and you actively look for ways in which to ease their burden at personal cost (financially, physically, emotionally) to yourself.

As a mom who has dealt with a high-risk pregnancy, I can promise you that we can read a pity-filled face a mile away. Please, don't pity a mom who is struggling. It does nothing for her and honestly minimizes the often too short time that she gets to spend with her baby. She doesn't regret the pregnancy, because she would die in a instant if she could guarantee safe passage for her child.

Instead, pray without ceasing for strength for her, safety for her baby, and a better understanding of what she is going through. If you are weighted down with prayers for her and her family, then you are showing sympathy which IS helpful.

And finally, I really appreciate you caring enough about your friend to WANT to know the best way to help her handle her pregnancy. On her behalf, thank you!

Chances are you know someone who has or is currently going through a high-risk pregnancy. Pregnancies get classified as high-risk for a multitude of reasons, including, multiples, history of miscarriages, genetic issues, and mother's health. Our pregnancy was classified as high-risk due to me carrying quadruplets.

I learned very quickly that all of the social screens that people normally have go straight out the window in a situation like mine. In their defense, I wouldn't have known what to say to me either. Where do you even start when you have a friend who is dealing with a pregnancy so high-risk, that there is a very real possibility she could lose her baby or babies? It's hard to know what to say, so I hope I can shed some light on what us high-risk mommies like to hear...and what we'd prefer you keep to yourself.

Avoid Extremes.
Just in case you get distracted before you finish reading this post, let's start with the most important one.

There are two sides to this: The first is that some people feel like they need to tell the mommy-to-be that everything is going to turn out fine and great. While that is extremely positive, it's not necessarily true. She knows it. You know it. We all know it. Remaining positive about advances in medicine and being available to help is awesome, but there is no need to harp on the rainbows and sunshine which may not be heading her direction.

The other side is that some people try to offer death support while the baby is still living. Bless their hearts. *sigh* Y'all, I can't express to you enough how unhelpful this is in a high-risk situation. While a comment like this often comes from the best of intentions, it is like taking a knife and running it through the mommy's heart. From personal experience, I can vouch that any mommy in a high-risk pregnancy knows that there is a chance her baby won't make it. One of the first things a doctor does is sit down with the parents of the child and give them all of the statistics of why the baby WON'T make it. That's par for the course. And if the baby passes, then those same doctors will direct the mommy to some resources to get her started. At that point, then it is okay to gently pass on your own resources. But not before then. Please don't be misguided into thinking that it's helpful to offer them before something tragic happens.

No Extra Touching.
What is it about pregnant women and the need for the world to touch them? It's kind of funny really...unless you are the one being touched. On top of that, I've found that having a high-risk pregnancy makes you even more high-risk for unsolicited touching. Do you have a mommy friend who is going through a tough pregnancy? Please don't touch her stomach. Or face. Or hair. Or rub her back. Or any of that, unless you know her well enough to know her preferences. When I was pregnant, I was okay with foot rubs, but would go all ninja on a person if they tried to touch my face. Why? Because I didn't want to catch germs, get sick, and put my high-risk pregnancy at more...erm...high risk. Even if you personally loved being touched while carrying a child, it is much more polite to give the mother-to-be some space. And if you are absolutely dying to give her a back rub, just ask first!

Don't Bring Up the High Risk Situation Every Single Time
So your friend just found out that her pregnancy isn't going to be the perfect one represented in movies. She definitely needs your support, but not necessarily your verbal support every time you see her. The best way I have to describe a high-risk pregnancy is like walking around with a time bomb in your stomach. The doctors have given you the statistics, you know what you are supposed to do, and you also know that even if you do everything right, it still might not go your way. Things can change in an instant, and life will never be the same again. She is always aware of what she is carrying even if she has a smile plastered on her face.

A good friend helps a mom going through a high-risk pregnancy forget what is looming over her, even if it's just for 30 minutes. She will still know you care if you don't dwell on the pregnancy every single time you see her.

Treat the Mommy like a normal person.
This can as easily be true for all mommies regardless of how scary or routine their pregnancy is. Just because a friend gets pregnant does not mean that she is no longer herself. She still has the same likes and dislikes (unless we are talking about food...in which case, I can't help you.) Treat her like a normal person.

My favorite story from my pregnancy happened during one of our doctor's visits. I was probably about 10 weeks pregnant with quadruplets, and my husband asked the high-risk doctor for a handicap parking sticker for the car. When the doctor asked why, my husband responded that I was pregnant with quadruplets. The doctor, who obviously knew the situation, looked at me, looked back at my husband, and then said, "But she isn't disabled. She's just pregnant."

But You REALLY Want to Help
There is a fine line between helping and overwhelming. Odds are that your friend won't want to directly ask you for help (that's a whole other blog post right there!). The easiest way to start helping is to offer to do something specifically. Saying, "Do you need help with anything?" is extremely vague and they won't know if you really mean it. Saying, "Can I pick up your laundry, wash it, and return it this week?" or "Can I bring you a hot meal on Monday?" is much more effective. You are letting them know that you've already thought about it and are very willing to do that particular task. It takes some of the stress off of the mom when she knows that you asked to mop her floor!

Prayers not Pity.
There is a big difference between pity and sympathy. Pity is when you just feel bad for someone. It's the idea, "Oh, I can't believe that happened to her." Sympathy is when you understand another person's feelings on a deep level and strive to stand with them through what they are dealing with. It's when your heart breaks as their heart breaks and you actively look for ways in which to ease their burden at personal cost (financially, physically, emotionally) to yourself.

As a mom who has dealt with a high-risk pregnancy, I can promise you that we can read a pity-filled face a mile away. Please, don't pity a mom who is struggling. It does nothing for her and honestly minimizes the often too short time that she gets to spend with her baby. She doesn't regret the pregnancy, because she would die in a instant if she could guarantee safe passage for her child.

Instead, pray without ceasing for strength for her, safety for her baby, and a better understanding of what she is going through. If you are weighted down with prayers for her and her family, then you are showing sympathy which IS helpful.

And finally, I really appreciate you caring enough about your friend to WANT to know the best way to help her handle her pregnancy. On her behalf, thank you!

5 Things I Don't Know As A Multiples Mom

I have some not-so-fond memories of people giving me advice while I was pregnant. They ranged from "stop eating until your pregnancy nausea goes away" to "You and your husband can still go to the movies. Just take the kids with you in their infant carriers!" Uh...okay?

The truth is, there is a lot of really good advice out there from more experienced moms, and also a lot of advice that has absolutely nothing to do with raising multiples. I know these people are well-intentioned, but it has made me very aware of giving advice myself.

I don't know the first thing about raising singletons. In many ways, I imagine it's harder (how do you entertain a single child all day??).

On occasion, I'll get a chance to visit with one of my singleton mom friends and the topic of rearing kids will come up. We will start swapping stories about babies and their reflux or teething, or toddlers and their climbing or obedience issues, and my friend might ask me what I think about something. My first response is always, "I don't know anything about raising singletons, so what might work in my situation, won't necessarily work in yours."

In keeping with that statement, I'd like to offer five things I DON'T know as a multiples mom:

1. Singleton Pregnancies
Probably my favorite example of my complete lack of knowledge in this area is the following conversation I had with a friend who was coming over to help me once a week just after our kids came home:

Friend: I'm pregnant! But don't worry, I still want to come help every week.
Me: You are?! That's awesome! I'm so excited! So every week, we will take a picture of your belly so you can see how fast you grow!
Friend: .Uh...Rebecca, normal people don't change that much week to week. If you take a photo every week, you won't see any change. Once a month photos makes more sense.
Me: Oh....

Haha! It just didn't occur to me because I had significant growth every week!

I also don't know what it's like to be pregnant for 9 months. I did 27 weeks, 6 days, and I was done. I can't imagine being pregnant for an extra three months. (Obviously, I didn't enjoy being pregnant!)

2. Healthy Newborns
So let me get this straight: You go to the hospital, have a baby, and then leave three days later with the baby? Goodness, as much as the NICU was really difficult, I had nurses who held my hand for three months and taught me how to do everything from bathe to feed to dress my babies. I also knew that they had been checked up one side and down the other which was a huge comfort.

I can't imagine walking out the doors of the hospital with my three day old baby and being left to figure it out on my own.

3. Raising Singletons of Different Ages
Yes, raising four kids the same age is hard, but I don't know any different. What I can't imagine is coordinating skill development for kids of different levels plus keeping track of the different needs of each age level.  What I find even more incredible are those moms with multiples and singletons (or another set of multiples!). Whoa...

4. Working Outside the Home and Raising Kids
Seriously, I can't figure this one out. I don't work outside the home because childcare would have been three times my salary. I do work from home as a blogger and freelance writer, but it's very part-time and after the kids are in bed. How in the world do you mamas work outside the home and maintain your awesomeness in the evenings and on weekends? I honestly don't think I could do it. I think the stress alone would knock me out. Those of you who can coordinate all of that have my admiration!

5. Not Being Afraid of Germs
In my dreams, I can send my kids into a play place or gym and comfortably watch them play. Instead, whenever we go out in public, I inwardly cringe and have to talk myself down. I'm terrified of germs. Flat out, 100% terrified. If someone sneezes or coughs, I freak out. Runny noses? So scary (and I know most of the time it's teething!).

I'm aware that most of those fears come from having NICU babies, needing to scrub in to see them, use hand sanitizer whenever I touched them, and being on lockdown for two winter seasons. I've asked other multiple moms when the fear goes away....apparently it doesn't.

Singleton moms probably notice germs to some level, but probably don't obsess about it to the degree that I do. I don't know what it's like not to be afraid of germs, and I really wish I did!


Multiples mom or singleton mom...I've pretty much decided that all moms are superheroes in one way or another. We each have our own specific challenges and situations, but each of us want the best for our kids and will take down anyone who stands in our way. Moms are so courageous. That's all I have to say about that.

I call myself blessed to have both multiples moms and singleton moms among my friends. Thank you to each one of you for pouring your lives into mine, letting me learn from your situations, and laughing with me as we chat about the silly antics of our kids!

I have some not-so-fond memories of people giving me advice while I was pregnant. They ranged from "stop eating until your pregnancy nausea goes away" to "You and your husband can still go to the movies. Just take the kids with you in their infant carriers!" Uh...okay?

The truth is, there is a lot of really good advice out there from more experienced moms, and also a lot of advice that has absolutely nothing to do with raising multiples. I know these people are well-intentioned, but it has made me very aware of giving advice myself.

I don't know the first thing about raising singletons. In many ways, I imagine it's harder (how do you entertain a single child all day??).

On occasion, I'll get a chance to visit with one of my singleton mom friends and the topic of rearing kids will come up. We will start swapping stories about babies and their reflux or teething, or toddlers and their climbing or obedience issues, and my friend might ask me what I think about something. My first response is always, "I don't know anything about raising singletons, so what might work in my situation, won't necessarily work in yours."

In keeping with that statement, I'd like to offer five things I DON'T know as a multiples mom:

1. Singleton Pregnancies
Probably my favorite example of my complete lack of knowledge in this area is the following conversation I had with a friend who was coming over to help me once a week just after our kids came home:

Friend: I'm pregnant! But don't worry, I still want to come help every week.
Me: You are?! That's awesome! I'm so excited! So every week, we will take a picture of your belly so you can see how fast you grow!
Friend: .Uh...Rebecca, normal people don't change that much week to week. If you take a photo every week, you won't see any change. Once a month photos makes more sense.
Me: Oh....

Haha! It just didn't occur to me because I had significant growth every week!

I also don't know what it's like to be pregnant for 9 months. I did 27 weeks, 6 days, and I was done. I can't imagine being pregnant for an extra three months. (Obviously, I didn't enjoy being pregnant!)

2. Healthy Newborns
So let me get this straight: You go to the hospital, have a baby, and then leave three days later with the baby? Goodness, as much as the NICU was really difficult, I had nurses who held my hand for three months and taught me how to do everything from bathe to feed to dress my babies. I also knew that they had been checked up one side and down the other which was a huge comfort.

I can't imagine walking out the doors of the hospital with my three day old baby and being left to figure it out on my own.

3. Raising Singletons of Different Ages
Yes, raising four kids the same age is hard, but I don't know any different. What I can't imagine is coordinating skill development for kids of different levels plus keeping track of the different needs of each age level.  What I find even more incredible are those moms with multiples and singletons (or another set of multiples!). Whoa...

4. Working Outside the Home and Raising Kids
Seriously, I can't figure this one out. I don't work outside the home because childcare would have been three times my salary. I do work from home as a blogger and freelance writer, but it's very part-time and after the kids are in bed. How in the world do you mamas work outside the home and maintain your awesomeness in the evenings and on weekends? I honestly don't think I could do it. I think the stress alone would knock me out. Those of you who can coordinate all of that have my admiration!

5. Not Being Afraid of Germs
In my dreams, I can send my kids into a play place or gym and comfortably watch them play. Instead, whenever we go out in public, I inwardly cringe and have to talk myself down. I'm terrified of germs. Flat out, 100% terrified. If someone sneezes or coughs, I freak out. Runny noses? So scary (and I know most of the time it's teething!).

I'm aware that most of those fears come from having NICU babies, needing to scrub in to see them, use hand sanitizer whenever I touched them, and being on lockdown for two winter seasons. I've asked other multiple moms when the fear goes away....apparently it doesn't.

Singleton moms probably notice germs to some level, but probably don't obsess about it to the degree that I do. I don't know what it's like not to be afraid of germs, and I really wish I did!


Multiples mom or singleton mom...I've pretty much decided that all moms are superheroes in one way or another. We each have our own specific challenges and situations, but each of us want the best for our kids and will take down anyone who stands in our way. Moms are so courageous. That's all I have to say about that.

I call myself blessed to have both multiples moms and singleton moms among my friends. Thank you to each one of you for pouring your lives into mine, letting me learn from your situations, and laughing with me as we chat about the silly antics of our kids!

Due Date

Today was the due date of our babies:  Caleb Sean, Abigail Rose, Elijah James, and Elizabeth Grace.   They came into this world on February 23rd.   It has been a road both rough and blessed.   As of today, the final one, Caleb made it home.  

Now we start a new journey. 

Many thanks to the doctors and nurses who cared for our babies, put up with me when I was tired and cranky, and loved my wife for being the radiant blessing of God that she is.   Thank you to the friends and family for all of the big and little things that you have done to help us out along the way.   It's been an amazing journey to fatherhood and I am really blessed to have my wife be the mother of our kids.  

There will be pictures forth coming.  right now we are trying to keep up with feedings, sleep, and getting some type of organization down.  

Much love to all

Sean & Rebecca Ishum

posted by Sean

Today was the due date of our babies:  Caleb Sean, Abigail Rose, Elijah James, and Elizabeth Grace.   They came into this world on February 23rd.   It has been a road both rough and blessed.   As of today, the final one, Caleb made it home.  

Now we start a new journey. 

Many thanks to the doctors and nurses who cared for our babies, put up with me when I was tired and cranky, and loved my wife for being the radiant blessing of God that she is.   Thank you to the friends and family for all of the big and little things that you have done to help us out along the way.   It's been an amazing journey to fatherhood and I am really blessed to have my wife be the mother of our kids.  

There will be pictures forth coming.  right now we are trying to keep up with feedings, sleep, and getting some type of organization down.  

Much love to all

Sean & Rebecca Ishum

posted by Sean

Ready, Set....Home.

The kids have gotten so big over the last couple of weeks! Caleb, Abby, and Elijah are all the size of full term babies now, and Ellie is trying her best to catch up:

Caleb: 6lbs. 11 oz.

Abby: 6 lbs. 7 oz.

Elijah: 6lbs. 7 oz.

Ellie: 4lbs. 11oz.

We have spent the last few days trying to figure out their feeding plans for when they come home. It’s extremely confusing, even for the hospital staff. Caleb and Abby both had Video Swallow Grams last week to see if maybe they needed their food thickened to cut down on the number of alarms and stem that they needed. Although they both passed it, clinically, the occupational therapist decided that they need thickener added to their food. Caleb has done extremely well with the change, and isn’t turning blue during feedings anymore! Abby, on the other hand, is still really struggling to eat. She just hasn’t done as well as her siblings. I think her feeding plan needs to be tweaked a bit more.

Elijah had a Video Swallow Gram on Tuesday and completely failed it. That sounds bad, but it’s actually a good thing. Now we know why the boy has been turning blue on us when we try to feed him. He has been aspirating his milk/formula. Now his formula is thickened to the consistency of honey, and he has drastically improved. He hasn’t turned blue while eating either. Thank goodness, because he was really freaking me out.

Ellie is a little eating machine! She didn’t need a Video Swallow Gram because she’s always done quite well with eating. She is still eating slightly thickened food since their formula comes that way, so that’s helping her get it down even faster. Now, if we can just get some of that food to stick to her little frame. J

The really hard part of this week for me has been the news that I can’t nurse the kids any longer. Due to their reactions on thin liquids, it’s just too dangerous to try to continue it. After working so hard for almost 3 months, it’s really difficult to just give it up. I feel like I’ve given up so much: a normal pregnancy, a normal delivery, a normal start to motherhood. Now I can’t even breastfeed my kids. I had no idea it would be this disappointing. I considered it a privilege and a bonding experience, and now it’s gone. I know there are other ways to bond, but in this moment, it’s just really hard. However, what I want obviously is not as important as what is best for the babies. There is a grieving process that goes along with losing some of these things. I’ve started the process to wean myself using the pump. I can’t physically pump and feed this many kids every 3 hours, so we decided that they had breast milk for the 3 most important months of their lives, and now it’s time to just let them have formula.

However, the good things that I need to keep in mind are that we have four beautiful babies that are breathing, feedings will go faster with everyone on formula (15-20 minutes per baby, rather than 45 minutes per baby), and I get to have a couple of full nights of sleep before they start coming home! I must admit, the sleep thing is really exciting, and I intend to FULLY enjoy them before the babies come home.

Yesterday, we had our Discharge Conference with the babies’ care team. Things are starting to come together very rapidly, and we needed to get the final list of what happens between now and discharge. For a couple of the kids, there are a few last things such as hearing screens, car seat tests, etc. and then they will be ready. We followed that conference up with Monitor Training, so that we know how to troubleshoot things when the alarms start blaring.

We also set up our rooming in dates. Tomorrow, we will head to the hospital and start a 24 hour cycle of us doing everything for the kids just as if they were home. The hospital is giving us a room down the hall that we can sleep in between feedings. So every 3 hours, we will walk to the NICU, each mix the food for and feed two kids, and then try to catch a little more sleep before the next round. (Thanks to my brother for watching the house while we are doing that!)

With all of that being said, next week is going to be a BIG week for us. As it stands now, if everything goes according to plan and no issues come up:

Ellie is coming home on Sunday.

Elijah is coming home on Monday.

Caleb is coming home on Wednesday.

(We don’t have a discharge date for Abby yet.)

We are excited, anxious, and a bit overwhelmed knowing that we could quite possibly have three babies home in less than a week. Yikes! We could still use some more help, so if any of you are at all interested, please let us know. I think I can handle two, but beginning with three, I’ll need an extra set of hands. We know that it’s possible the dates could be pushed back for them as has already happened a couple of times, but we are almost 100% sure that we will have at least Ellie and Elijah coming home.

Your prayers are needed now more than ever as we need to adjust very rapidly to our new lives. Thanks for keeping us before the throne over the next few days while we finally start putting our family together!

--Posted by Rebecca

The kids have gotten so big over the last couple of weeks! Caleb, Abby, and Elijah are all the size of full term babies now, and Ellie is trying her best to catch up:

Caleb: 6lbs. 11 oz.

Abby: 6 lbs. 7 oz.

Elijah: 6lbs. 7 oz.

Ellie: 4lbs. 11oz.

We have spent the last few days trying to figure out their feeding plans for when they come home. It’s extremely confusing, even for the hospital staff. Caleb and Abby both had Video Swallow Grams last week to see if maybe they needed their food thickened to cut down on the number of alarms and stem that they needed. Although they both passed it, clinically, the occupational therapist decided that they need thickener added to their food. Caleb has done extremely well with the change, and isn’t turning blue during feedings anymore! Abby, on the other hand, is still really struggling to eat. She just hasn’t done as well as her siblings. I think her feeding plan needs to be tweaked a bit more.

Elijah had a Video Swallow Gram on Tuesday and completely failed it. That sounds bad, but it’s actually a good thing. Now we know why the boy has been turning blue on us when we try to feed him. He has been aspirating his milk/formula. Now his formula is thickened to the consistency of honey, and he has drastically improved. He hasn’t turned blue while eating either. Thank goodness, because he was really freaking me out.

Ellie is a little eating machine! She didn’t need a Video Swallow Gram because she’s always done quite well with eating. She is still eating slightly thickened food since their formula comes that way, so that’s helping her get it down even faster. Now, if we can just get some of that food to stick to her little frame. J

The really hard part of this week for me has been the news that I can’t nurse the kids any longer. Due to their reactions on thin liquids, it’s just too dangerous to try to continue it. After working so hard for almost 3 months, it’s really difficult to just give it up. I feel like I’ve given up so much: a normal pregnancy, a normal delivery, a normal start to motherhood. Now I can’t even breastfeed my kids. I had no idea it would be this disappointing. I considered it a privilege and a bonding experience, and now it’s gone. I know there are other ways to bond, but in this moment, it’s just really hard. However, what I want obviously is not as important as what is best for the babies. There is a grieving process that goes along with losing some of these things. I’ve started the process to wean myself using the pump. I can’t physically pump and feed this many kids every 3 hours, so we decided that they had breast milk for the 3 most important months of their lives, and now it’s time to just let them have formula.

However, the good things that I need to keep in mind are that we have four beautiful babies that are breathing, feedings will go faster with everyone on formula (15-20 minutes per baby, rather than 45 minutes per baby), and I get to have a couple of full nights of sleep before they start coming home! I must admit, the sleep thing is really exciting, and I intend to FULLY enjoy them before the babies come home.

Yesterday, we had our Discharge Conference with the babies’ care team. Things are starting to come together very rapidly, and we needed to get the final list of what happens between now and discharge. For a couple of the kids, there are a few last things such as hearing screens, car seat tests, etc. and then they will be ready. We followed that conference up with Monitor Training, so that we know how to troubleshoot things when the alarms start blaring.

We also set up our rooming in dates. Tomorrow, we will head to the hospital and start a 24 hour cycle of us doing everything for the kids just as if they were home. The hospital is giving us a room down the hall that we can sleep in between feedings. So every 3 hours, we will walk to the NICU, each mix the food for and feed two kids, and then try to catch a little more sleep before the next round. (Thanks to my brother for watching the house while we are doing that!)

With all of that being said, next week is going to be a BIG week for us. As it stands now, if everything goes according to plan and no issues come up:

Ellie is coming home on Sunday.

Elijah is coming home on Monday.

Caleb is coming home on Wednesday.

(We don’t have a discharge date for Abby yet.)

We are excited, anxious, and a bit overwhelmed knowing that we could quite possibly have three babies home in less than a week. Yikes! We could still use some more help, so if any of you are at all interested, please let us know. I think I can handle two, but beginning with three, I’ll need an extra set of hands. We know that it’s possible the dates could be pushed back for them as has already happened a couple of times, but we are almost 100% sure that we will have at least Ellie and Elijah coming home.

Your prayers are needed now more than ever as we need to adjust very rapidly to our new lives. Thanks for keeping us before the throne over the next few days while we finally start putting our family together!

--Posted by Rebecca

Being Real

Some days I wonder if it’s ever going to get to point where I don’t wonder if my kids are going to keep breathing on their own?

 *****

I have had an incredibly rough week. Some of it is directly related to the babies, and some of it is weeks of living at the NICU building up and overwhelming me. I had a complete nervous breakdown at the hospital on Wednesday afternoon that was the culmination of several days of trying to hold myself together. We have become very good friends with some of the nurses, and Cathy caught me trying to bug out of there in an emotionally frazzled state. I ended up just dumping everything on her. Like I said, some nurses have become wonderful friends (and I could type out a whole list of these wonderful women!)

It was decided that I should probably go see my doctor to talk about getting something to help me though the next few months. Yesterday, I went back to the midwife who found our quadruplets originally, and we talked about where I was emotionally with everything that we are dealing with. While we both don’t want me on medicine long term, we decided that for the next three months, I would use Zoloft to help with the anxiety and possible little bit of depression that I’m dealing with. I definitely do not have full-blown postpartum depression, but the anxiety has become more than I can handle by myself. Why am I throwing all of this out there? Because I think that anxiety and depression medications can have a bad rap in some Christian circles, and I think that’s incredibly sad. Consider this my little way of trying to help bring to light some of the problems that Christian women have to deal with. Tangent. Anyhow, I’m grateful for the help that the medication will provide so that hopefully I can sleep a little better at night and not drive myself crazy during the day.

That was yesterday morning. Pretty good timing considering what happened last night:

Elijah had another nasty episode while we were at the hospital. I was nursing the poor little guy and he quit breathing again. He has been doing so well, that for the last couple of days, we’ve been taking him off of his monitors so that he could nurse without wires pulling on him. I’m SO glad that I kept a close eye on him. By the time I realized that something was wrong, he was that horrible ashen grey color. I pulled him upright as quickly as I could and started pounding on his back but his tongue literally just rolled out of his mouth and his arms flopped at his sides. Thankfully, Martha, his nurse (and another good friend!), was still in the room. She ran over as quickly as she could and began trying to get him to breathe again. Unlike the last time he did this (which wasn’t nearly as bad), she couldn’t get him to inhale. She put him back in his crib and used a bag and mask on him, but he still wasn’t doing anything. She started going for the “Staff Assist” button, but I got there first and pushed it. Within about 15 seconds, Dr. Anderson (neonatologist), Paul (respiratory therapist), and the charge nurse were at his bedside trying to get him to come back. As soon as someone was there to take my place at Elijah’s crib, I stepped back into the corner to be out of the way and give in to the tears. It took a little longer, but Paul finally got him to give a gasp and a single wail and then his color started to come back.

I do pretty well in a crisis situation until it’s either over or someone can take my place, but I shouldn’t have to watch my kids do this. I HATE this. I HATE THIS SO MUCH! I can’t even nurse my kids without wondering if they are going to crap out on me. Obviously, when they come home, they are staying on those monitors 24/7.

Today, I took the day off from the hospital. I just needed a break, but all I’ve been able to think about are my kids. I don’t know how long Elijah wasn’t breathing before he started again, and that scares me. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. With the events of the last two weeks and the awful episodes that the boys have had, I can’t help but wonder if the hospital is going to send them home and then they are going to die on my watch. The neonatologists have promised over and over that they are not going to send them home until they are past this, but we are in a perpetual state of “they are coming home in the next 1-2 weeks.” What if they behave themselves for a week, come home, and then act up again?

I’m in a low place today. It’s one filled with anxiety, fear, and tears. I don’t want to watch anymore of these episodes. It’s too hard to see my kids like this!

But then I remember that my kids are relatively healthy and we are blessed to have four kids who are alive and have extremely good odds of living. Not every quad mama can claim all of that. There is such a sharp faith learning curve that Sean and I are experiencing. And sometimes it is so incredibly painful and exhausting. Somedays, I just don’t feel up to the task of taking care of my kids or even trusting God to watch over their need to breathe.

I don’t think that makes me a bad Christian. I think that makes me a real Christian. Transparency can be uncomfortable, but there it is.

--Posted by Rebecca

Some days I wonder if it’s ever going to get to point where I don’t wonder if my kids are going to keep breathing on their own?

 *****

I have had an incredibly rough week. Some of it is directly related to the babies, and some of it is weeks of living at the NICU building up and overwhelming me. I had a complete nervous breakdown at the hospital on Wednesday afternoon that was the culmination of several days of trying to hold myself together. We have become very good friends with some of the nurses, and Cathy caught me trying to bug out of there in an emotionally frazzled state. I ended up just dumping everything on her. Like I said, some nurses have become wonderful friends (and I could type out a whole list of these wonderful women!)

It was decided that I should probably go see my doctor to talk about getting something to help me though the next few months. Yesterday, I went back to the midwife who found our quadruplets originally, and we talked about where I was emotionally with everything that we are dealing with. While we both don’t want me on medicine long term, we decided that for the next three months, I would use Zoloft to help with the anxiety and possible little bit of depression that I’m dealing with. I definitely do not have full-blown postpartum depression, but the anxiety has become more than I can handle by myself. Why am I throwing all of this out there? Because I think that anxiety and depression medications can have a bad rap in some Christian circles, and I think that’s incredibly sad. Consider this my little way of trying to help bring to light some of the problems that Christian women have to deal with. Tangent. Anyhow, I’m grateful for the help that the medication will provide so that hopefully I can sleep a little better at night and not drive myself crazy during the day.

That was yesterday morning. Pretty good timing considering what happened last night:

Elijah had another nasty episode while we were at the hospital. I was nursing the poor little guy and he quit breathing again. He has been doing so well, that for the last couple of days, we’ve been taking him off of his monitors so that he could nurse without wires pulling on him. I’m SO glad that I kept a close eye on him. By the time I realized that something was wrong, he was that horrible ashen grey color. I pulled him upright as quickly as I could and started pounding on his back but his tongue literally just rolled out of his mouth and his arms flopped at his sides. Thankfully, Martha, his nurse (and another good friend!), was still in the room. She ran over as quickly as she could and began trying to get him to breathe again. Unlike the last time he did this (which wasn’t nearly as bad), she couldn’t get him to inhale. She put him back in his crib and used a bag and mask on him, but he still wasn’t doing anything. She started going for the “Staff Assist” button, but I got there first and pushed it. Within about 15 seconds, Dr. Anderson (neonatologist), Paul (respiratory therapist), and the charge nurse were at his bedside trying to get him to come back. As soon as someone was there to take my place at Elijah’s crib, I stepped back into the corner to be out of the way and give in to the tears. It took a little longer, but Paul finally got him to give a gasp and a single wail and then his color started to come back.

I do pretty well in a crisis situation until it’s either over or someone can take my place, but I shouldn’t have to watch my kids do this. I HATE this. I HATE THIS SO MUCH! I can’t even nurse my kids without wondering if they are going to crap out on me. Obviously, when they come home, they are staying on those monitors 24/7.

Today, I took the day off from the hospital. I just needed a break, but all I’ve been able to think about are my kids. I don’t know how long Elijah wasn’t breathing before he started again, and that scares me. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. With the events of the last two weeks and the awful episodes that the boys have had, I can’t help but wonder if the hospital is going to send them home and then they are going to die on my watch. The neonatologists have promised over and over that they are not going to send them home until they are past this, but we are in a perpetual state of “they are coming home in the next 1-2 weeks.” What if they behave themselves for a week, come home, and then act up again?

I’m in a low place today. It’s one filled with anxiety, fear, and tears. I don’t want to watch anymore of these episodes. It’s too hard to see my kids like this!

But then I remember that my kids are relatively healthy and we are blessed to have four kids who are alive and have extremely good odds of living. Not every quad mama can claim all of that. There is such a sharp faith learning curve that Sean and I are experiencing. And sometimes it is so incredibly painful and exhausting. Somedays, I just don’t feel up to the task of taking care of my kids or even trusting God to watch over their need to breathe.

I don’t think that makes me a bad Christian. I think that makes me a real Christian. Transparency can be uncomfortable, but there it is.

--Posted by Rebecca

Getting things lined up for HOMECOMING!!!

On Thursday, we had our 60 Day Conference with the medical team that has been taking care of our babies. Everyone was there including: The doctor, nurse practitioner, lactation consultant, discharge planner, nurse manager, dietician, social worker, and developmental therapist. The general consensus was that we are probably about two weeks away from babies starting to come home barring any of them pulling another stunt like what Caleb and Eli did on Monday.

With that being said, this is the Official Blog Post where we ask for Homecoming Help.

First of all, I think I need to clarify exactly what we are facing when the babies come home. Most people take home one full-term baby. We are taking home four babies at around the time when they would have been 40 weeks, but it won’t be anything like bringing home four full-term babies. Our little guys are preemies with special needs that are entirely different from what a typical baby has to face. All four will be on monitors, at least one will likely be on oxygen, all will be on a series of daily medications, all will need to be positioned in certain doctor prescribed ways, everything that they do will need to be tracked and charted, etc. It’s going to be a handful for us, but I also want to make sure that people who want to help us aren’t expecting to see healthy full-term babies.

Still interested in possibly helping us? Read on!

We are going to need A TON of help when the babies come home, both baby related and non-baby related, and many of you have been offering to help since we found out that we were pregnant. Thank you so much! We didn’t fully realize during the pregnancy the level of special care they will need due to how premature and small they are. Our NICU stay, now more than 60 days long, the doctors, and fellow multiples parents have clued us in to what we are in for in the coming months. The doctors have told us to severely limit the number of people around them at home and not take them into public for the first year. After talking with the doctors and the parents of many sets of multiples, we have come up with some guidelines to protect our kids once they come home. By summer of next year, we should be able to start bringing them to church and introducing them to everyone in real life. We can’t wait for that to happen! But until then, we have to curb our enthusiasm a bit and just buckle down to make sure that our little ones have as uneventful a first year of life as possible.

 Right now, it takes about 1 ½ - 2 hours to feed all of the kids and that is with two people working on it. They will be on a 3 hour feeding schedule when they come home. There is just no way that we can do this by ourselves.  I think God does things like this on purpose to make us realize that we can’t control everything little thing about our lives like we want to. Frustrating and humbling. So, yes, I’m asking for help.

As we organize help, we are going to try to use our personal families as much as possible, and then our friends if anyone is still willing now that they are about to come home. However, there are certain guidelines that we are going to need each helper to follow to protect our babies. Thanks in advance for helping us follow them so that we have an uneventful first year at home!

1. Germs are a HUGE issue-the biggest issue we will have to deal with. If you would like to help with the babies, we need you to sign up for a shift for at least four weeks in a row. Examples would be: Every Monday morning for four weeks or overnight every Thursday for four weeks. It doesn’t have to be the same shift every week; we just need the consistency. We will need help every day and overnight every weeknight at least until the kids are able to hold their own bottles and are on some type of schedule at home. Hopefully by five or six months, we will have reached that point. Having the same people come keeps the same germs cycling through the house and the number of different people coming over to a minimum. And then if you are having so much fun you want to hang out for additional weeks, we’d love that too!


2. You have to be 110% well. If you sign up to help with a shift and start feeling unwell, we would much rather you not come and be short-handed then end up with four sick kids. Additionally, if you have been around anyone in the past 48 hours who have been sick, we ask that you not come then either. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for quadruplets at this age to get sick and end up back in the hospital on ventilators.


3. There will be hand sanitizer in every room of the house. If you come to help with the babies, please wash your hands and then thoroughly sanitize before touching them or anything else.


4. Please have on clean clothes before coming over or bring a change of clothes with you. Example: When we go to church, we go home and change before going to see the babies to keep germs at bay. Clothes worn to Walmart definitely go in the hamper before we see the babies.


5. Please don’t wear anything smelly. If you smoke, please make sure that you change your outfit before walking through the door, and we ask that you not smoke while you are over at our house. Likewise, please keep things like body spray including cologne and perfume to a minimum. It can easily overpower their lungs and cause major breathing issues.


6. Please kick off your shoes at the door. The bottoms of shoes travel through places we would never want to lie down on, so we want to make sure that those germs don’t end up on the floor where the babies are playing.

We realize that some people will want to come see the babies, and not be able to sign up for a four week shift. We wish we could have everyone over to meet our babies, but we just can’t. They will still be cute in a year when we take them out for the first time! Until then, we will keep updating our blog with pictures and news as they get bigger. Thank you for understanding!

After talking to many moms of multiples from twins to quadruplets, they suggested ways that people helped them so that they could spend more time with their babies or catch a little sleep. These are ways people can help without any type of lengthy time commitment and that won’t introduce additional germs into the house. We would be grateful for any of this help once the babies come home!

1. Hot meals


2. Frozen meals for days when we are running behind, spend the day at the doctor, or just haven’t slept


3. Picking up our laundry to wash and return


4. Mowing the yard

Again, we so appreciate the offers of help that we have been receiving since we found out that we are pregnant. Once the babies come home, we would LOVE to take you up on that help! We realize that some people may find our guidelines offensive, ungrateful, or ridiculously over-protective, but honestly, we are okay with that. Our kids are our number one priority and we are following exactly what the doctors and other parents of multiples have suggested from experience.

So if you want to help, what’s the best way to let us know? If there is something in particular that you want to help with, please email us at theishumquads”at”gmail.com and let us know what your availability is along with what shift(s) you prefer or what non-baby help you want to provide. As soon as we have an official discharge date, we will get in touch with you to put you on the schedule. We are guessing we are about two weeks out from needing help right now. Sean’s cousin, Michelle, has researched online ways to keep track of help, so we are planning on using one of those Care Calendars. The nice thing is that we can give the log on info to you and you can put themself on the calendar rather than going through us! With four babies at home, I’m not sure how much I will be on the computer at that point. J

Thanks again to those of you who have offered us help over the past few months! It’s amazing to think that our 9 ½ week old babies might actually begin to come home soon!

On Thursday, we had our 60 Day Conference with the medical team that has been taking care of our babies. Everyone was there including: The doctor, nurse practitioner, lactation consultant, discharge planner, nurse manager, dietician, social worker, and developmental therapist. The general consensus was that we are probably about two weeks away from babies starting to come home barring any of them pulling another stunt like what Caleb and Eli did on Monday.

With that being said, this is the Official Blog Post where we ask for Homecoming Help.

First of all, I think I need to clarify exactly what we are facing when the babies come home. Most people take home one full-term baby. We are taking home four babies at around the time when they would have been 40 weeks, but it won’t be anything like bringing home four full-term babies. Our little guys are preemies with special needs that are entirely different from what a typical baby has to face. All four will be on monitors, at least one will likely be on oxygen, all will be on a series of daily medications, all will need to be positioned in certain doctor prescribed ways, everything that they do will need to be tracked and charted, etc. It’s going to be a handful for us, but I also want to make sure that people who want to help us aren’t expecting to see healthy full-term babies.

Still interested in possibly helping us? Read on!

We are going to need A TON of help when the babies come home, both baby related and non-baby related, and many of you have been offering to help since we found out that we were pregnant. Thank you so much! We didn’t fully realize during the pregnancy the level of special care they will need due to how premature and small they are. Our NICU stay, now more than 60 days long, the doctors, and fellow multiples parents have clued us in to what we are in for in the coming months. The doctors have told us to severely limit the number of people around them at home and not take them into public for the first year. After talking with the doctors and the parents of many sets of multiples, we have come up with some guidelines to protect our kids once they come home. By summer of next year, we should be able to start bringing them to church and introducing them to everyone in real life. We can’t wait for that to happen! But until then, we have to curb our enthusiasm a bit and just buckle down to make sure that our little ones have as uneventful a first year of life as possible.

 Right now, it takes about 1 ½ - 2 hours to feed all of the kids and that is with two people working on it. They will be on a 3 hour feeding schedule when they come home. There is just no way that we can do this by ourselves.  I think God does things like this on purpose to make us realize that we can’t control everything little thing about our lives like we want to. Frustrating and humbling. So, yes, I’m asking for help.

As we organize help, we are going to try to use our personal families as much as possible, and then our friends if anyone is still willing now that they are about to come home. However, there are certain guidelines that we are going to need each helper to follow to protect our babies. Thanks in advance for helping us follow them so that we have an uneventful first year at home!

1. Germs are a HUGE issue-the biggest issue we will have to deal with. If you would like to help with the babies, we need you to sign up for a shift for at least four weeks in a row. Examples would be: Every Monday morning for four weeks or overnight every Thursday for four weeks. It doesn’t have to be the same shift every week; we just need the consistency. We will need help every day and overnight every weeknight at least until the kids are able to hold their own bottles and are on some type of schedule at home. Hopefully by five or six months, we will have reached that point. Having the same people come keeps the same germs cycling through the house and the number of different people coming over to a minimum. And then if you are having so much fun you want to hang out for additional weeks, we’d love that too!


2. You have to be 110% well. If you sign up to help with a shift and start feeling unwell, we would much rather you not come and be short-handed then end up with four sick kids. Additionally, if you have been around anyone in the past 48 hours who have been sick, we ask that you not come then either. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for quadruplets at this age to get sick and end up back in the hospital on ventilators.


3. There will be hand sanitizer in every room of the house. If you come to help with the babies, please wash your hands and then thoroughly sanitize before touching them or anything else.


4. Please have on clean clothes before coming over or bring a change of clothes with you. Example: When we go to church, we go home and change before going to see the babies to keep germs at bay. Clothes worn to Walmart definitely go in the hamper before we see the babies.


5. Please don’t wear anything smelly. If you smoke, please make sure that you change your outfit before walking through the door, and we ask that you not smoke while you are over at our house. Likewise, please keep things like body spray including cologne and perfume to a minimum. It can easily overpower their lungs and cause major breathing issues.


6. Please kick off your shoes at the door. The bottoms of shoes travel through places we would never want to lie down on, so we want to make sure that those germs don’t end up on the floor where the babies are playing.

We realize that some people will want to come see the babies, and not be able to sign up for a four week shift. We wish we could have everyone over to meet our babies, but we just can’t. They will still be cute in a year when we take them out for the first time! Until then, we will keep updating our blog with pictures and news as they get bigger. Thank you for understanding!

After talking to many moms of multiples from twins to quadruplets, they suggested ways that people helped them so that they could spend more time with their babies or catch a little sleep. These are ways people can help without any type of lengthy time commitment and that won’t introduce additional germs into the house. We would be grateful for any of this help once the babies come home!

1. Hot meals


2. Frozen meals for days when we are running behind, spend the day at the doctor, or just haven’t slept


3. Picking up our laundry to wash and return


4. Mowing the yard

Again, we so appreciate the offers of help that we have been receiving since we found out that we are pregnant. Once the babies come home, we would LOVE to take you up on that help! We realize that some people may find our guidelines offensive, ungrateful, or ridiculously over-protective, but honestly, we are okay with that. Our kids are our number one priority and we are following exactly what the doctors and other parents of multiples have suggested from experience.

So if you want to help, what’s the best way to let us know? If there is something in particular that you want to help with, please email us at theishumquads”at”gmail.com and let us know what your availability is along with what shift(s) you prefer or what non-baby help you want to provide. As soon as we have an official discharge date, we will get in touch with you to put you on the schedule. We are guessing we are about two weeks out from needing help right now. Sean’s cousin, Michelle, has researched online ways to keep track of help, so we are planning on using one of those Care Calendars. The nice thing is that we can give the log on info to you and you can put themself on the calendar rather than going through us! With four babies at home, I’m not sure how much I will be on the computer at that point. J

Thanks again to those of you who have offered us help over the past few months! It’s amazing to think that our 9 ½ week old babies might actually begin to come home soon!

Ellie's First Test Result; Eli and Caleb's One Step Back

Thanks for your prayers for Ellie. Her first test came back negative for HIV!

We will still have to have her tested for it again in six months, but for now it looks good. We have been given some additional information since our original request for prayer that tells us that she was probably not exposed to HIV in the first place. There is still a chance, but it does seem like it is pretty miniscule at this point. We will obviously still have her tested as a precautionary measure, but we are choosing not to borrow trouble at this point. My second concern in the situation was for the other three children and protecting them in the event that Ellie is HIV positive. I’ve been told by a couple of different doctors at different times over the weekend that even with them breastfeeding one right after the other, that Ellie wouldn’t pass it to them.

The truth of the matter is this: The hospital staff have taken excellent care of us since I walked into the hospital and was place on bed rest in January. We are all human, and errors do occur. We know the nurse who made the mistake, and she is a great person who generally does a fine job! As long as Ellie is okay, then we are okay. We’d like to let this pass as just another stressful moment in the grand scheme of our “quad project.”

So PLEASE keep praying for little Ellie, but Sean and I really believe that we she will be fine!

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************

Saturday was the day that they told us about the mix-up with Ellie’s breast milk. That was stressful.

Sunday, we got a call from the doctor first thing in the morning saying that we have reached the point in our NICU journey that requires me to be at the hospital a lot. Since I am breastfeeding, they need me up there for as many feedings possible. They also told us that they needed to start learning how to bottle feed even though they weren’t doing all that fantastically with the breast feeding. I was really concerned about nipple confusion and throwing too many things at them at once, but they said that they really needed to start being more oral. So we went up on Sunday morning and I made a last ditch effort to try to get all four of them to breastfeed before the bottles came out. They have these nifty little things called nipple shields that preemies like because it provides a harder platform for them to suck against. With their high palates and ridges from vents, regular breastfeeding is difficult and they’ve all had a hard time catching on. By the end of the day on Sunday, they had all breastfed twice amazingly well! So well, in fact, that several of them didn’t even need any follow up feeding to top them off. It was so encouraging! Since then, they have been ROCKING the breastfeeding every time! Finally! Then the nurse dropped the bombshell on us that Elijah could be home as early as Friday. Oh My Word! I didn’t sleep very well Sunday night because the idea of babies starting to come home was really stressful.

Monday, I showed up at the hospital early to feed the babies again. The day started relatively low key for having four kids in the neo-natal intensive care unit, but from there, the day just plummeted. By about 1pm, Elijah had started dsating (heart rate dropped drastically and breathing completely stopped) severely. It wasn’t just the little dsats that I’ve been watching for weeks now with occasional slight color changes where the babies turn a little blue and then come right back out of it. Elijah completely stopped breathing and wasn’t coming back by himself. I watched as the nurse ripped his covers off, unbuckled his sleeping pouch in record time, and picked him up to pound on his back. He wasn’t even blue. He was completely grey. From where I was sitting, he actually looked dead. His nurse, Corrie, got him breathing again and settled him back in his crib. After that, I needed a minute, so I left to grab some lunch really quick. When I walked back into nursery after lunch, everybody was a little bit flustered. Apparently I had just missed a much worse episode by about 5 minutes. It was so bad that Corrie had to hit the “Staff Assist” button to get additional help. Unfortunately, from there, the afternoon just got worse. I watched as Elijah’s heart rate dived and his breathing stopped again and again and again. And then Caleb decided that he wanted to join Elijah in his activity, so he started doing the same thing. As a mom, sitting there watching the nurses bring my kids back over and over, it was the worst afternoon I have spent in the hospital up to this point. There was literally nothing I could do, and their problems came out of nowhere! Awful!! I never want to have my boys go down on me like that here at home. I suppose the upside is that I now know how to pound on their back to get them to start breathing again. I just wish I could get the picture of my boys looking completely dead out of my mind. That far outdistanced my stress from the two prior days.

Yesterday evening, after their dramatic afternoon, they moved us from the South Nursery back to the main NICU. We are back in their original rooms again so that they can be closer to extra hands if they are needed. Elijah, who wasn’t on any extra breathing apparatuses and in a crib, has been put back in an isolette and is on a CPAP again. Caleb is also back in an isolette and is on a nasal cannula. They have had a full blood work up to look for infections. They may have one, but the doctors are thinking that their problems may actually stem from them being taken off of their caffeine. They have been on caffeine for most of their lives up to this point to help them overcome some of their preemie hurdles. The doctors took them off of caffeine because they were doing so well. Maybe they need it longer? Gosh, whatever their issues are, they scared their Mama half to death! Prayers are much appreciated that they get better soon. And the girls? Just as happy as clams in their cribs! Long story short, Elijah won’t be coming home on Friday. They have to go a full week without an alarm needing intervention to come home. If they have an alarm that requires intervention, the clock resets and we have to start the countdown over.

Whew! What an update! I hope the next few days are uneventful because I’ve had my full quotient of stress for this week!

--Posted by Becca

Thanks for your prayers for Ellie. Her first test came back negative for HIV!

We will still have to have her tested for it again in six months, but for now it looks good. We have been given some additional information since our original request for prayer that tells us that she was probably not exposed to HIV in the first place. There is still a chance, but it does seem like it is pretty miniscule at this point. We will obviously still have her tested as a precautionary measure, but we are choosing not to borrow trouble at this point. My second concern in the situation was for the other three children and protecting them in the event that Ellie is HIV positive. I’ve been told by a couple of different doctors at different times over the weekend that even with them breastfeeding one right after the other, that Ellie wouldn’t pass it to them.

The truth of the matter is this: The hospital staff have taken excellent care of us since I walked into the hospital and was place on bed rest in January. We are all human, and errors do occur. We know the nurse who made the mistake, and she is a great person who generally does a fine job! As long as Ellie is okay, then we are okay. We’d like to let this pass as just another stressful moment in the grand scheme of our “quad project.”

So PLEASE keep praying for little Ellie, but Sean and I really believe that we she will be fine!

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************

Saturday was the day that they told us about the mix-up with Ellie’s breast milk. That was stressful.

Sunday, we got a call from the doctor first thing in the morning saying that we have reached the point in our NICU journey that requires me to be at the hospital a lot. Since I am breastfeeding, they need me up there for as many feedings possible. They also told us that they needed to start learning how to bottle feed even though they weren’t doing all that fantastically with the breast feeding. I was really concerned about nipple confusion and throwing too many things at them at once, but they said that they really needed to start being more oral. So we went up on Sunday morning and I made a last ditch effort to try to get all four of them to breastfeed before the bottles came out. They have these nifty little things called nipple shields that preemies like because it provides a harder platform for them to suck against. With their high palates and ridges from vents, regular breastfeeding is difficult and they’ve all had a hard time catching on. By the end of the day on Sunday, they had all breastfed twice amazingly well! So well, in fact, that several of them didn’t even need any follow up feeding to top them off. It was so encouraging! Since then, they have been ROCKING the breastfeeding every time! Finally! Then the nurse dropped the bombshell on us that Elijah could be home as early as Friday. Oh My Word! I didn’t sleep very well Sunday night because the idea of babies starting to come home was really stressful.

Monday, I showed up at the hospital early to feed the babies again. The day started relatively low key for having four kids in the neo-natal intensive care unit, but from there, the day just plummeted. By about 1pm, Elijah had started dsating (heart rate dropped drastically and breathing completely stopped) severely. It wasn’t just the little dsats that I’ve been watching for weeks now with occasional slight color changes where the babies turn a little blue and then come right back out of it. Elijah completely stopped breathing and wasn’t coming back by himself. I watched as the nurse ripped his covers off, unbuckled his sleeping pouch in record time, and picked him up to pound on his back. He wasn’t even blue. He was completely grey. From where I was sitting, he actually looked dead. His nurse, Corrie, got him breathing again and settled him back in his crib. After that, I needed a minute, so I left to grab some lunch really quick. When I walked back into nursery after lunch, everybody was a little bit flustered. Apparently I had just missed a much worse episode by about 5 minutes. It was so bad that Corrie had to hit the “Staff Assist” button to get additional help. Unfortunately, from there, the afternoon just got worse. I watched as Elijah’s heart rate dived and his breathing stopped again and again and again. And then Caleb decided that he wanted to join Elijah in his activity, so he started doing the same thing. As a mom, sitting there watching the nurses bring my kids back over and over, it was the worst afternoon I have spent in the hospital up to this point. There was literally nothing I could do, and their problems came out of nowhere! Awful!! I never want to have my boys go down on me like that here at home. I suppose the upside is that I now know how to pound on their back to get them to start breathing again. I just wish I could get the picture of my boys looking completely dead out of my mind. That far outdistanced my stress from the two prior days.

Yesterday evening, after their dramatic afternoon, they moved us from the South Nursery back to the main NICU. We are back in their original rooms again so that they can be closer to extra hands if they are needed. Elijah, who wasn’t on any extra breathing apparatuses and in a crib, has been put back in an isolette and is on a CPAP again. Caleb is also back in an isolette and is on a nasal cannula. They have had a full blood work up to look for infections. They may have one, but the doctors are thinking that their problems may actually stem from them being taken off of their caffeine. They have been on caffeine for most of their lives up to this point to help them overcome some of their preemie hurdles. The doctors took them off of caffeine because they were doing so well. Maybe they need it longer? Gosh, whatever their issues are, they scared their Mama half to death! Prayers are much appreciated that they get better soon. And the girls? Just as happy as clams in their cribs! Long story short, Elijah won’t be coming home on Friday. They have to go a full week without an alarm needing intervention to come home. If they have an alarm that requires intervention, the clock resets and we have to start the countdown over.

Whew! What an update! I hope the next few days are uneventful because I’ve had my full quotient of stress for this week!

--Posted by Becca

Another Prayer Request for Ellie

Let me start by saying, thank you for all of the pediatric recommendations! Your experiences are definitely helpful to us as we pick a doctor! You guys are awesome!!

First an update on the babies:

Caleb- 5lbs. 6 oz.
Abby 5lbs. 3 ½ oz.
Elijah- 5lbs. ½ oz.
Ellie- 3 lbs. 11 ½ oz.

The babies are continuing to work on their nursing skills. Abby finally started to get the hang of it on Wednesday. All of the sudden it seemed like a little light bulb went off in her head and she figured out what she was supposed to do. After trying for a week and half, she finally nursed for about 5 minutes before falling asleep out of sheer exhaustion. Then she sealed the deal with a burp! It was a victory moment! She hasn’t nursed every time we’ve tried since then, but I know she can do it now!

Ellie started learning how to nurse on Thursday as well. It is really bizarre trying to nurse a 3 ½ pound baby. She’s so incredibly little still! Ellie and both boys are still trying to decide how they feel about nursing which is just fine. I’m good with letting them learn at their own pace.

Ellie also moved to a crib on Wednesday! We now have four babies in cribs and four babies learning how to nurse. Wow!

Caleb and Elijah are pretty much the same with the only exception being that Caleb has been put back on his nasal cannula (he’s come off of it and been put back on twice this week). He was just having too many episodes of dsats and bradycardia and they needed oxygen that they can turn up when he starts turning blue. He will get another chance at being off of his nasal cannula in a few days.

All four babies had PH tests this week because they just seemed very uncomfortable. Poor little guys are suffering from some acid reflux (which is different than normal baby reflux). Caleb has 8% acid reflux and is now on an antacid, and Abby has 16% acid reflux so she is on an antacid and carofate, an additional medication, to help heal her esophagus, Eli has 14% acid reflux and is on an antacid and carofate, and we are still waiting on Ellie’s results. Her little testing monitor that tracks the acid showed that she will test positive for it though. Hopefully we can get her started on some meds to help with that soon! We are hoping that once the meds start helping everyone, it will help them nurse better.

To help with their acid reflux, they have been switched from Neosure formula to Neocate formula. Neocate is a more processed formula that doesn’t have cow’s milk in it. The doctors think that the protein in cow’s milk is contributing to their acid reflux, so they are hoping that switching the formula will help. They also called the dietician in to talk to me about taking dairy out of my diet. Breast milk can have cow’s milk protein in it if the mother is eating dairy which can also contribute to the acid reflux. They’ve told me that eliminating or drastically reducing the dairy I consume is completely optional because there is nothing to guarantee that it will help the babies. The nurses also told me that they haven’t seen it work in the past when other moms have tried it. Actually, the doctor who spoke to me about it told me that they had a discussion whether or not to talk to me about my dairy as they figure I’ve already got enough stress in my life as it is. They finally decided that I ought to know all the options. It will take 3-4 weeks for the dairy to work its way out of my system if I completely eliminate it, and it’s possible the medication will work just fine for the babies. We should know over the next few days whether the meds are helping. Since eliminating dairy and all traces of it means everything from ice cream, to lunchmeat, to bread, I’m thinking I will just stop drinking/eating the obvious dairy items and then take more drastic measures if necessary. I think that’s the best option. I only have so much energy (which is soon to be even more taxed when the babies come home) and I hate to immediately start spending it all on reading food labels. So we would appreciate prayers that the meds work…for all of us.

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

So here is how these blogs posts work: I normally start a blog post and work on it over the course of a day or two when I have a minute. The main problem with this is that stuff changes so FAST that I end up rewriting portions of it-sometimes multiple times-before actually getting it up on the blog. So everything written above was started on Thursday evening and updated today before I posted it. The stuff below is *new* information that I learned this morning while I was at the hospital. Some details have been left out because we aren’t the only family involved, but the general details are here.

This morning, when I was visiting the babies and working with them on their nursing, the staff kept asking me if Sean was coming in. Sean had to work today so I was flying solo. Finally they told me to head back over to the NICU that the babies were originally in because one of the doctors needed to talk to me. I walked over and the doctor and charge nurse sat me down in the conference room to share some information about Ellie. Sean and I went back and forth about posting this up here on the blog because of the nature of the issue, but several people in this scenario really need prayer, so here it is:

There was a mix up with the breast milk on Thursday night and Ellie got one feeding of milk that another mother in the NICU brought in for her baby. The milk was fresh, meaning it was unpasteurized and not monitored for anything since the other mom brought it in directly for her baby just like I do for our kids. They didn’t catch the mix up until yesterday morning when the day nurse came on and was double checking everything. Normally, this wouldn’t be a huge issue, but the other mother has some diseases that she is dealing with. The doctor told me several times that most of these are not transferable through breast milk. However, Ellie now needs to be tested for HIV immediately and then again in six months because that is how long it takes for someone to test HIV positive. There is a very small chance that she was exposed to it (the other mother doesn’t believe she has it), but there is a chance nonetheless. I haven’t spoken to the other mom, but the doctor did tell me that she was not responsible for the fact that she was exposed and that she was exposed in what should have been a safe situation for her. Based on the information that they have, the doctor said that the chances of Ellie having HIV or other long-term health consequences are practically zero, but it is still a cause for great concern for me and Sean.

Please keep our daughter, Ellie, in your prayers. I know so many of you have been praying her through her other health issues, but this is very scary. Please, please be praying that all HIV testing comes back negative for her.

Please pray for this sweet other mother who never asked for any of this. She has really come up with the short end of the stick in her situation. The doctors said that she is “devastated” that Ellie has been innocently exposed just as she herself was. My heart definitely goes out to her, and I just wish I could give her a hug. Please also pray for her baby as well.

Thank you.

--Posted by Becca

Let me start by saying, thank you for all of the pediatric recommendations! Your experiences are definitely helpful to us as we pick a doctor! You guys are awesome!!

First an update on the babies:

Caleb- 5lbs. 6 oz.
Abby 5lbs. 3 ½ oz.
Elijah- 5lbs. ½ oz.
Ellie- 3 lbs. 11 ½ oz.

The babies are continuing to work on their nursing skills. Abby finally started to get the hang of it on Wednesday. All of the sudden it seemed like a little light bulb went off in her head and she figured out what she was supposed to do. After trying for a week and half, she finally nursed for about 5 minutes before falling asleep out of sheer exhaustion. Then she sealed the deal with a burp! It was a victory moment! She hasn’t nursed every time we’ve tried since then, but I know she can do it now!

Ellie started learning how to nurse on Thursday as well. It is really bizarre trying to nurse a 3 ½ pound baby. She’s so incredibly little still! Ellie and both boys are still trying to decide how they feel about nursing which is just fine. I’m good with letting them learn at their own pace.

Ellie also moved to a crib on Wednesday! We now have four babies in cribs and four babies learning how to nurse. Wow!

Caleb and Elijah are pretty much the same with the only exception being that Caleb has been put back on his nasal cannula (he’s come off of it and been put back on twice this week). He was just having too many episodes of dsats and bradycardia and they needed oxygen that they can turn up when he starts turning blue. He will get another chance at being off of his nasal cannula in a few days.

All four babies had PH tests this week because they just seemed very uncomfortable. Poor little guys are suffering from some acid reflux (which is different than normal baby reflux). Caleb has 8% acid reflux and is now on an antacid, and Abby has 16% acid reflux so she is on an antacid and carofate, an additional medication, to help heal her esophagus, Eli has 14% acid reflux and is on an antacid and carofate, and we are still waiting on Ellie’s results. Her little testing monitor that tracks the acid showed that she will test positive for it though. Hopefully we can get her started on some meds to help with that soon! We are hoping that once the meds start helping everyone, it will help them nurse better.

To help with their acid reflux, they have been switched from Neosure formula to Neocate formula. Neocate is a more processed formula that doesn’t have cow’s milk in it. The doctors think that the protein in cow’s milk is contributing to their acid reflux, so they are hoping that switching the formula will help. They also called the dietician in to talk to me about taking dairy out of my diet. Breast milk can have cow’s milk protein in it if the mother is eating dairy which can also contribute to the acid reflux. They’ve told me that eliminating or drastically reducing the dairy I consume is completely optional because there is nothing to guarantee that it will help the babies. The nurses also told me that they haven’t seen it work in the past when other moms have tried it. Actually, the doctor who spoke to me about it told me that they had a discussion whether or not to talk to me about my dairy as they figure I’ve already got enough stress in my life as it is. They finally decided that I ought to know all the options. It will take 3-4 weeks for the dairy to work its way out of my system if I completely eliminate it, and it’s possible the medication will work just fine for the babies. We should know over the next few days whether the meds are helping. Since eliminating dairy and all traces of it means everything from ice cream, to lunchmeat, to bread, I’m thinking I will just stop drinking/eating the obvious dairy items and then take more drastic measures if necessary. I think that’s the best option. I only have so much energy (which is soon to be even more taxed when the babies come home) and I hate to immediately start spending it all on reading food labels. So we would appreciate prayers that the meds work…for all of us.

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

So here is how these blogs posts work: I normally start a blog post and work on it over the course of a day or two when I have a minute. The main problem with this is that stuff changes so FAST that I end up rewriting portions of it-sometimes multiple times-before actually getting it up on the blog. So everything written above was started on Thursday evening and updated today before I posted it. The stuff below is *new* information that I learned this morning while I was at the hospital. Some details have been left out because we aren’t the only family involved, but the general details are here.

This morning, when I was visiting the babies and working with them on their nursing, the staff kept asking me if Sean was coming in. Sean had to work today so I was flying solo. Finally they told me to head back over to the NICU that the babies were originally in because one of the doctors needed to talk to me. I walked over and the doctor and charge nurse sat me down in the conference room to share some information about Ellie. Sean and I went back and forth about posting this up here on the blog because of the nature of the issue, but several people in this scenario really need prayer, so here it is:

There was a mix up with the breast milk on Thursday night and Ellie got one feeding of milk that another mother in the NICU brought in for her baby. The milk was fresh, meaning it was unpasteurized and not monitored for anything since the other mom brought it in directly for her baby just like I do for our kids. They didn’t catch the mix up until yesterday morning when the day nurse came on and was double checking everything. Normally, this wouldn’t be a huge issue, but the other mother has some diseases that she is dealing with. The doctor told me several times that most of these are not transferable through breast milk. However, Ellie now needs to be tested for HIV immediately and then again in six months because that is how long it takes for someone to test HIV positive. There is a very small chance that she was exposed to it (the other mother doesn’t believe she has it), but there is a chance nonetheless. I haven’t spoken to the other mom, but the doctor did tell me that she was not responsible for the fact that she was exposed and that she was exposed in what should have been a safe situation for her. Based on the information that they have, the doctor said that the chances of Ellie having HIV or other long-term health consequences are practically zero, but it is still a cause for great concern for me and Sean.

Please keep our daughter, Ellie, in your prayers. I know so many of you have been praying her through her other health issues, but this is very scary. Please, please be praying that all HIV testing comes back negative for her.

Please pray for this sweet other mother who never asked for any of this. She has really come up with the short end of the stick in her situation. The doctors said that she is “devastated” that Ellie has been innocently exposed just as she herself was. My heart definitely goes out to her, and I just wish I could give her a hug. Please also pray for her baby as well.

Thank you.

--Posted by Becca

Many More Milestones!

Apparently, one weekend of milestones wasn’t enough for our babies. They’ve continued to make drastic improvements over the last week! This whole post is milestone after milestone, so bear with me as I start listing everything going on!

The NICU at St. Luke’s is overflowing, so our kids were moved to the North Nursery Saturday morning which makes this whole quadruplet thing all the more real. Because they’ve been moved, it means that they are much better and are considered to be “Feeder Growers.” The main thing holding them back is learning to eat and gaining weight. It’s very reassuring to know that our kids aren’t considered critical or very sick anymore. At the same time though, it was a complete shock to walk into the North Nursery (which used to be the old NICU and is only open when there are too many babies to keep on the new unit) and see all four of our kids in the same spot in the same room. It probably sounds funny, but I didn’t realize until Saturday that I hadn’t actually seen them all together before.

Clockwise from left: Caleb's Crib, Abby's Crib, Sean, Ellie's Isolette, Eli's Crib

Caleb now weighs 4 lbs. 13 oz. As of Sunday, he is no longer on anything offering breathing assistance-he’s not even on oxygen anymore! Other than a feeding tube through his nose, he no longer has tubes on his face! They have removed the beneprotein supplements from his feedings and have started slowly replacing the donor breast milk he was receiving with formula since he now weighs over 2 kilos. They are working on a Home-Going Feeding Plan that we can maintain with just my breast milk and formula. On Friday evening, he started the process of learning how to nurse. So far, our biggest challenge is keeping him awake long enough for him to even try it! This morning he had a PH study to look at whether or not all of his spit ups are due to reflux. Hopefully we get some answers when the results come back.



Abby now weighs 4 lbs. 14 ½ oz. She is also no longer getting beneprotein, her donor milk is being slowly replaced by formula, and they are working on a Home-Going Feeding Plan for her as well. Like Caleb, she had a PH study this morning to look at what is causing her spit ups. She is still on 24 hour nasal cannula, and we’ve been told that she will most likely come home still on it.



Eli now weighs 4 lbs. 11 oz. Officially, on Friday morning, Eli managed to keep his temperature up high enough to be moved to a crib! Since then, he has been keeping pace with Caleb and Abby. He was the first to come off of his oxygen on Saturday and is doing well with that! He is also working on a Home-Going Feeding Plan with donor milk being replaced by formula and beneprotein being taken out of his feedings. We are hoping that they will decide to do a PH study with him since he seems to have as many spit ups as his siblings.

Ellie now weighs 3 lbs. 6 oz. We are mainly just waiting on Ellie to get a little bigger. She is still in her isolette and on 24 hour nasal cannula. They haven’t started weaning her from the donor breast milk yet as she is still too little.



Caleb, Abby, and Eli are all learning how to nurse now. They get tired pretty quickly and generally only have the stamina to try nursing once a day. With them being so small and technically, not supposed to start nursing for another 5 weeks (if they had been full-term) we have a really hard time getting them to stay awake and practice their new skill. The other difficult thing is that they all have a groove in the roof of their mouth where their vent line sat for several weeks. With the groove there, they can’t feel the nipple as well and can’t figure out how to make good sucks. The lactation consultants come in everyday to work with them on latching and sucking, so hopefully they will figure out how to nurse in the next week or so.

This weekend, we also had all of the grandparents up to hold the babies for the first time. They are finally stable and big enough to share the love. I think all of the grandparents had a great time with that! For my parents (Grandparents Stolberg) these are their first grandchildren. For Sean’s parents (Grandparents Ishum) our kids are the 2^nd-5^th grandkids.

Grandpa Stolberg and Caleb, Grandma Stolberg and Abby, Grandpa Ishum and Ellie, Grandma Ishum and Elijah

 

Grandpa Stolberg and Caleb

 

Grandma Stolberg and Abby

 

Grandma Ishum "Ma" and Elijah

 

Grandpa Ishum "Pa" and Ellie

Last week we also talked to the discharge nurse to start lining up things for home coming. On this week’s agenda is: find a pediatrician, get an appointment to install car seats, and continuing working on oral feedings. She gave us a list of area pediatric offices that might be a good fit. Do any of you have any experience with any of the following offices? If so, which doctor did you work with and did you like him/her? Please leave a comment if you can weigh in on this issue! We want the best doctor we can find for our little preemies!

• Pediatric Care Specialists (Overland Park, KS)


• Pediatric Associates (Kansas City, MO and Lee's Summit, MO)


• Lee's Summit Physicians Group (Lee's Summit, MO)


• Raintree Pediatrics (Lee's Summit, MO)


• Pediatric Professionals (Lee's Summit, MO)

As you can see, everything is really starting to roll along at a face pace! Which leads me to the big news that we had this weekend:

Saturday, the doctor said that we could see the first of the babies (not sure which one will be first) start to come home in as early as two weeks! It’s contingent on several things, but it’s amazing that we might be that close to having our family start to come home. Sean and I are pretty sure that Caleb, Abby, and Eli will come home close together since they are all at about the same spot developmentally. It will be a little longer for Ellie since she is not as advanced. We’ve been told that all four will probably come home on monitors, and at least, Abby will be on oxygen. It’s too early to tell if Ellie will come home on oxygen. I’m not looking forward to dealing with cords and monitors here at home, but at least we won’t be driving back and forth to the hospital anymore!

Oh my word! That’s enough milestones to make your head spin! I’m so excited and yet absolutely terrified at the same time. This seemed so much more manageable when I was only seeing the babies two at a time. I’m struggling with feelings of being completely overwhelmed again, much like those that I had when we found out how many we were having in the first place. The idea of them coming home has always seemed like such a far off moment in time. Now that there is a more defined time frame, I’m realizing that this next chapter is right around the corner. I don’t know that I’m ready for this. I suppose it’s just one of those things that you jump in and do. Such a mix of emotions: Our family will finally be all together but we will be taking care of four preemie infants complete with monitors and oxygen. Yikes!

Please be praying for all six of us as we start to look toward transitioning home and learning a new way of living our daily lives. Our babies coming home is a big milestone for all of us!

--Posted by Rebecca

Apparently, one weekend of milestones wasn’t enough for our babies. They’ve continued to make drastic improvements over the last week! This whole post is milestone after milestone, so bear with me as I start listing everything going on!

The NICU at St. Luke’s is overflowing, so our kids were moved to the North Nursery Saturday morning which makes this whole quadruplet thing all the more real. Because they’ve been moved, it means that they are much better and are considered to be “Feeder Growers.” The main thing holding them back is learning to eat and gaining weight. It’s very reassuring to know that our kids aren’t considered critical or very sick anymore. At the same time though, it was a complete shock to walk into the North Nursery (which used to be the old NICU and is only open when there are too many babies to keep on the new unit) and see all four of our kids in the same spot in the same room. It probably sounds funny, but I didn’t realize until Saturday that I hadn’t actually seen them all together before.

Clockwise from left: Caleb's Crib, Abby's Crib, Sean, Ellie's Isolette, Eli's Crib

Caleb now weighs 4 lbs. 13 oz. As of Sunday, he is no longer on anything offering breathing assistance-he’s not even on oxygen anymore! Other than a feeding tube through his nose, he no longer has tubes on his face! They have removed the beneprotein supplements from his feedings and have started slowly replacing the donor breast milk he was receiving with formula since he now weighs over 2 kilos. They are working on a Home-Going Feeding Plan that we can maintain with just my breast milk and formula. On Friday evening, he started the process of learning how to nurse. So far, our biggest challenge is keeping him awake long enough for him to even try it! This morning he had a PH study to look at whether or not all of his spit ups are due to reflux. Hopefully we get some answers when the results come back.



Abby now weighs 4 lbs. 14 ½ oz. She is also no longer getting beneprotein, her donor milk is being slowly replaced by formula, and they are working on a Home-Going Feeding Plan for her as well. Like Caleb, she had a PH study this morning to look at what is causing her spit ups. She is still on 24 hour nasal cannula, and we’ve been told that she will most likely come home still on it.



Eli now weighs 4 lbs. 11 oz. Officially, on Friday morning, Eli managed to keep his temperature up high enough to be moved to a crib! Since then, he has been keeping pace with Caleb and Abby. He was the first to come off of his oxygen on Saturday and is doing well with that! He is also working on a Home-Going Feeding Plan with donor milk being replaced by formula and beneprotein being taken out of his feedings. We are hoping that they will decide to do a PH study with him since he seems to have as many spit ups as his siblings.

Ellie now weighs 3 lbs. 6 oz. We are mainly just waiting on Ellie to get a little bigger. She is still in her isolette and on 24 hour nasal cannula. They haven’t started weaning her from the donor breast milk yet as she is still too little.



Caleb, Abby, and Eli are all learning how to nurse now. They get tired pretty quickly and generally only have the stamina to try nursing once a day. With them being so small and technically, not supposed to start nursing for another 5 weeks (if they had been full-term) we have a really hard time getting them to stay awake and practice their new skill. The other difficult thing is that they all have a groove in the roof of their mouth where their vent line sat for several weeks. With the groove there, they can’t feel the nipple as well and can’t figure out how to make good sucks. The lactation consultants come in everyday to work with them on latching and sucking, so hopefully they will figure out how to nurse in the next week or so.

This weekend, we also had all of the grandparents up to hold the babies for the first time. They are finally stable and big enough to share the love. I think all of the grandparents had a great time with that! For my parents (Grandparents Stolberg) these are their first grandchildren. For Sean’s parents (Grandparents Ishum) our kids are the 2^nd-5^th grandkids.

Grandpa Stolberg and Caleb, Grandma Stolberg and Abby, Grandpa Ishum and Ellie, Grandma Ishum and Elijah

 

Grandpa Stolberg and Caleb

 

Grandma Stolberg and Abby

 

Grandma Ishum "Ma" and Elijah

 

Grandpa Ishum "Pa" and Ellie

Last week we also talked to the discharge nurse to start lining up things for home coming. On this week’s agenda is: find a pediatrician, get an appointment to install car seats, and continuing working on oral feedings. She gave us a list of area pediatric offices that might be a good fit. Do any of you have any experience with any of the following offices? If so, which doctor did you work with and did you like him/her? Please leave a comment if you can weigh in on this issue! We want the best doctor we can find for our little preemies!

• Pediatric Care Specialists (Overland Park, KS)


• Pediatric Associates (Kansas City, MO and Lee's Summit, MO)


• Lee's Summit Physicians Group (Lee's Summit, MO)


• Raintree Pediatrics (Lee's Summit, MO)


• Pediatric Professionals (Lee's Summit, MO)

As you can see, everything is really starting to roll along at a face pace! Which leads me to the big news that we had this weekend:

Saturday, the doctor said that we could see the first of the babies (not sure which one will be first) start to come home in as early as two weeks! It’s contingent on several things, but it’s amazing that we might be that close to having our family start to come home. Sean and I are pretty sure that Caleb, Abby, and Eli will come home close together since they are all at about the same spot developmentally. It will be a little longer for Ellie since she is not as advanced. We’ve been told that all four will probably come home on monitors, and at least, Abby will be on oxygen. It’s too early to tell if Ellie will come home on oxygen. I’m not looking forward to dealing with cords and monitors here at home, but at least we won’t be driving back and forth to the hospital anymore!

Oh my word! That’s enough milestones to make your head spin! I’m so excited and yet absolutely terrified at the same time. This seemed so much more manageable when I was only seeing the babies two at a time. I’m struggling with feelings of being completely overwhelmed again, much like those that I had when we found out how many we were having in the first place. The idea of them coming home has always seemed like such a far off moment in time. Now that there is a more defined time frame, I’m realizing that this next chapter is right around the corner. I don’t know that I’m ready for this. I suppose it’s just one of those things that you jump in and do. Such a mix of emotions: Our family will finally be all together but we will be taking care of four preemie infants complete with monitors and oxygen. Yikes!

Please be praying for all six of us as we start to look toward transitioning home and learning a new way of living our daily lives. Our babies coming home is a big milestone for all of us!

--Posted by Rebecca